My first story sorry if it sucks. Just please don't hate on it. Thanks for reading! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I woke up. It was cold, all I could feel was cold. A bright light was blinding me to the point that I was dizzy as I tried to stand up. Looking down, I realized I was sitting on a metal table. "Where the hell am I?" I asked myself incredulously. A deep voice was heard behind me,"Well Miss Jones, I can go ahead and tell you. It is far from hell." The sweet sound of his honey-like voice was practically intoxicating. "Yes Miss Jones, I have that effect on people. Please, walk with me?" I scooted off the table slowly," Ummm... Sure... Just a question..." The stranger nodded,"Of course." I looked around a bit nervously," Where am I?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Please give me feedback... Changes? Should I continue? Remember it's my first time writing a story ? Thanks for reading!!! Love, Ele
I'm gonna go ahead and post while there are freshy fresh ideas in my head ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Well, to answer your question," He said, with a voice of silk and honey,"Is simply, Heaven. You are becoming one of the angels of The Lord." I stared at him in disbelief,"Woah, Woah, Woah, Woah! Angel? Of The Lord? Last I checked I was never an exceptionally good person, nor was religious! Hell! I don't even know how I got here!" I thought for a moment,"Wait. If I'm an angel.... How did I die?" The man looked at me,"Well, I I we're to tell you what fun would that make your first test?" "First... Test?" Uh oh.... That did not sound good.
Okay... I'm going to continue for now. My friends have persuaded me? I'll do my best to entertain! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Yes Eledrania. A test, and it won't be the only one." He stated this, quite matter-of-factly. I looked at him, clearly exasperated,"A test? I haven't been an angel for more than 15 minutes, and I have a test. Great." I rolled my eyes exaggeratedly. The tall angel smirked slightly,"Indeed, But wouldn't you like to know how you died?" I stopped dead. I did want to know... I also wanted my "afterlife", if that's what you'd call this, to be a good one. I sighed and turned towards the man,"Fine, but tell me your name first." He took a quick glance behind him and said one word as he gestured for me to follow him,"Daniel." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hmmmm.... I wonder where that name comes from *cough cough* Club members of mine. Take a guess^^ Lol. It was the first person I could think to put in here. I promise I'll fit a few of the rest of you too! Love, Ele
Hey! ^^ if anyone has any suggestions as you read, please post! I'd be glad to consider some of them!!!! Love, Ele
Herm... I wonder what shall happen within this magnificent chapter? Welcome to chapter two lovelies ^~^ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chapter 2 Only the Beginning "Well, Daniel. Lets get started." She pulled her dirty blonde hair out of her ice blue eyes,"I don't exactly want to be stuck in one place all the time." Daniel chuckled,"Call me Danny, and of course. Now, your first test is determining how you passed away." He flipped through a massive book, much like a dictionary. There was something odd about this book,"Ah hah! I found it. Eledrania Gretchen Jones. Atlanta, Georgia." She smirked slightly,"That would be me!" She thought for a moment,"So... How exactly does this work? If I'm dead... And someone sees this dead chick walking around Atlanta... What happens then?" Danny's smile grew somewhat mischievous,"Oh, now this is the fun part." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Danny. What Chu up to bish? Anyway. I know I changed from 1st to third person, I discovered. That OMG. It's easier to write that way. Anyway thanks for reading!!! Love, Ele (P.S. More characters coming soon )
So Danny. What be up your sleeve? Oh wait. No. Don't tell me 0.0 I'll read the chapter! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Ele's POV ~~~~~~~~~ Okay, creepiest response ever.... I was officially creeped... The guy, no more than a couple of years older than me, or so he looked, had wisdom that far succeeded his look. "Well... How do I disguise myself?" He looked at me,"Now. I'm going to cast a spell that makes you look completely different to humans. It can only be broken if they themselves figure out who, and what, you are." I looked around,"what about to myself?" Danny looked at me wide eyed,"One warning. Do not use mirrors. It will reveal your wings in the reflection and whoever is around can see the reflection also." "Alright... Alright. I won't." I felt he was overreacting, but I should probably listen. "Okay so... Where am I going when I get into Atlanta?" "Simple, your old school." His answer was blunt. But struck me with such a force that I staggered backwards. "Shit. There? Really Danny boy?" I grabbed my temples and started humming a song. Highway to hell. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Dagum! What's with ele and her old school? What's the dealeo? Wait and find out! But trust me. The song is more than appropriate. Lots Of Love, Ele
Whoooooooo's readyyyyyyyy to see what Ele's problem with her school is? ???????Good!!(I would've done it anyway....) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Regular POV ~~~~~~~~~~~~ It had been about a week since Danny had sent her down to the grounds of Atlanta. She had settled in, gotten what she needed, and thought for the rest of the time... "I wonder why I have to come back here... I mean sure... Nails will be there... And she was my best friend... And Rhyan will be there too. Along with Kelshie, Emmerson and Corron. But everyone else at the school hated me..." She buries her face in her hands."I just can't... Handle this.." Tomorrow is the first day of school, she wasn't sure how she was going to handle the flood from memory lane. Only one way to find out. Before she laid down to sleep she heard Danny's voice in her head, " Remember, your name is Emma Jones. A cousin of Eledrania." And with that, she was out. Ready to rise tomorrow and far her ex-enemies. And old friends. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I can't imagine being hated schoolwide it'd be awful!!! Love, Ele
Good story so far! I would recommend maybe adding a little more detail, because it seems to be moving a little fast. Also you kinda switch tenses a lot. But otherwise it's great.
OMG WOOOO! IM IN THERE! Lol lemme give some advice, when updating, make it longer instead of doing fast small updates, it's better and makes it easier to read
Yea >~< I can't help it. Some things sound better one way than they do the other. I'm the most indecisive person in America XD so it happens.