"Buy me tacos." I said, batting my eyelashes at my man. "Nope." His words were final, what happened to the love between us? I leaked out a small little sniffle, before running out of the house, tears rolling down my cheeks. What followed was a high pitched honk of a car speeding towards me, as I turned my head towards the sound, I saw the face of the panicking elderly driver, the face of the five year old grandson sitting in a blue booster seat. Mere seconds later, the loudest sound I have ever heard. I was flung back, slammed right into the tree we planted on our honeymoon. It was as if every single cell within my body was screaming in agony, I hurt all over. "Mariam!" John...? I... "A-Aaa...-sniff-" It hurts so bad... "Mariam... I wasn't going to buy just tacos alone... No babe, I was going to buy the eight piece family pack..." John, how could I have doubted you? I doubted our love, I don't deserve you... "S-Sorr-... Rkk.. Hrk.. Ha. HAAA-!" I'm cold... "MARIAM, NO! NO! PLEASE, WOMAN DON'T DO THIS TO ME. I'M SERIOUS!" I held her mangled lifeless body in my arms, just awhile ago we were talking about my baby girl inside of her when suddenly she had a craving for tacos... I'll get those tacos, Mariam. I will..
She ran out because she could t get tacos, and then a old guy hit her, is she dead. I couldn't really understand your writing. It had this " around her name. And then This- and it was like -sniff- it's um.. Unique that she dead because she couldn't get what she wanted. But you make wanna write it so the readers can understand it more. And space it out for when they are talking. But keep writing.
Omgiod I was done at "buy me taco" 8 piece family pack. Lmfao this is hilarious. I know it suppose to be a "sad story" but man I couldn't stop laughing. But the organization structure of this piece is allll jacked up. Other that that it's was a funny sad story