The truth must be told

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by *jdjddjdhjdsjdbd (01), Jul 10, 2013.

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  1. Guys, I have something important to tell you.
    I'm not actually a female Lithuanian student.

    My name is Gary Namely-Sweatpicket and I am a 49 year old man from Pennsylvania. I make dolls out of human hair and give them to strangers children while wearing full-body latex suits. Sometimes I carry a bucket of pig's blood with me. It masks the smell of the latex nicely and when you dip the dolls in it the hairs sticks together nicely. I live in a trailer with my daughter, Pritchard Growthbend Namely-Sweatpicket, who is seven. I am teaching her to use heavy weapons so that she can defend me when the USA government comes to take me away.

    Goodnight and God bless you.
    -Gary


    (just in case this somehow violates the TOU... This thread is of course all a joke.)
     
    #1 *jdjddjdhjdsjdbd (01), Jul 10, 2013
  2. Sorry for any errors in my English. I'm just noticing a few.
     
    #2 *jdjddjdhjdsjdbd (01), Jul 10, 2013
  3. Oh my god. I almost pissed myself laughing.
     
    #3 Player11171305, Jul 10, 2013
  4. Oh my. So that's what happened to my neighbors when I moved.

    (I lived in Pennsylvania for 8 years)
     
    #4 Rise_Of_The_Fox, Jul 10, 2013
  5. ^Haha!
     
    #5 *jdjddjdhjdsjdbd (01), Jul 10, 2013
  6.  
    #6 LoveBombWillBeGeekForChristmas, Jul 10, 2013
  7. 

    Omg

    

    This thread.....
     
    #7 Tt-Gemmerz, Jul 10, 2013
  8. [​IMG]
     
    #8 Player11171305, Jul 10, 2013
  9. Whoa.
     
    #9 *jdjddjdhjdsjdbd (01), Jul 10, 2013
  10. This is so hilarious! ???????
     
    #10 VanceWilderXI, Jul 10, 2013
  11. I Shaf Brix cause I LAUGHED SO HARD
     
    #11 MARRijuana, Jul 10, 2013
  12. Can't stop laughing
    Well hello there Gary 
    This instantly popped into my head and I know it's most likely gonna be huge
    [​IMG]
    I even read I in his voice 
     
    #12 BarneyThePurpleDino, Jul 10, 2013
  13. I like this thread...relax
     
    #13 -iP0P-, Jul 10, 2013
  14. Giving fucked up dolls to little children? :3 That must look so good on your resume.
     
    #14 Player11171305, Jul 10, 2013
  15. My resume is written on a torn out page of the bible. It is written in teal crayon and it has stains.
    -Gary
     
    #15 *jdjddjdhjdsjdbd (01), Jul 10, 2013
  16. Is anybody out there? Just sitting here rubbing my soggy pelvis against a pile of laundry.
    -Gary
     
    #16 *jdjddjdhjdsjdbd (01), Jul 10, 2013
  17. ?Oh my i can't stop laughing
     
    #17 That_Witch_BunBun, Jul 10, 2013
  18. thats so weird, we have so much in common. i think we should get to know each other better
     
    #18 *SBTRKT (01), Jul 10, 2013
  19. This is too funny
     
    #19 Gabe_TheGingerBeardMan, Jul 10, 2013
  20. Its not even funny
     
    #20 bad-ass00, Jul 10, 2013
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