A man cheats on his wife Lorraine with a girl named clearly. Suddenly, Lorraine died. At the funeral, the man sang "I can see clearly now, Lorraine is gone" A funeral service is held for a woman who just passed away. The pallbearer are carrying the casket out, when they hit a wall accidentally. After hitting the wall, they hear a faint moan and so they open the casket. Turns out the woman is alive and breathing. The woman ends up living 10 more years. 10 years later, the woman dies and another funeral services is held. As the pallbearer a are carrying the casket out, the husband yells "Watch out for that wall!!!!"
One morning satan appeared before a small town congregation, obviously everyone was terrified and started screaming and running for safety. Within seconds the town turned into a ghost town, except one man, an old man who sat on a bench calmly. Satan sees the old man and gets angry and asks the old man "don't you know who I am?!" The old man answers "of course I do" Satan "we'll, aren't you gonna run away?" Old man "nope" Satan "aren't you afraid of me?" Old man "hell naw son, I've been married to your sister for 48 years!!"
Way to kill that run of jokes. great jokes though V made me laugh after a long night shift. Keep em comin
What's the difference between your male part and your paycheck? You dont have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck
getting a bit sexist are we here What do you call a man that lost all of his intelligence? A widow. What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man? His wide is good at picking out clothes. What is one thing that all men at singles bar have in common? They're married. What is the difference between men and women? A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need. What's the smartest thing a man can say? "My wife says..." Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts. talk shit get hit
oh here's a good one At a party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."
So, a husband and wife are about to see each other naked for the first time on their honeymoon. The husband takes off his shoes and socks and reveals his twisted and knotted feet. He explains to his wife that he had "Tolio" as a child. His wife says "don't ya mean polio?" He says "No honey it just affects my toes." Next, the husband takes his pants off and he has deformed knees and he explains I had "kneesles" too. Finally, he pulls of his boxers and in shock his wife screams "OH NO, SMALLCOX TOO?!!!"