Uh...I don't know if anyone noticed but you switched from third person to first. Also there are quite a few typos, but they're small. The romance element is quite clear, though it's already filling the attractive male meets attractive female and they fall in love requirement all up in dis place. I'd say it's okay.
Omg this is AMAZING!!! And u described cam so perfectly xD WOW! U have to write moooooore pwweeeease?? Am I in it? N imma go read it to cam n alex now
Omg this is AMAZEBALLS!!! You described cam so perfectly!!!!xD this is sooo good!! Imma go read it to cam n alex now am I gunna be in it??
Okey here's a Lil something Starting to feel a bit awkward I grabbed Amelia's arm pulling her to me "Hey, we should get going Eli is waiting, remember?" I said lowly as Camron lightly touched my shoulder "Leaving me already darling? Shame I didn't even get a kiss or an hug." Amelia laughed shaking her head "You wish, Dawn is way to shy to give anyone a hug leg alone a kiss." I blushed nudging Amelia trying to make her stop. He chuckles grabbing my arm pulling me into a hug "Well we are gonna have to change that huh?" I blushed harder slightly hugging him back. Amelia laughed a bit as she dropped a shoe bag out her hand. "Looks like you need some help love. Let me." Alex said reaching did her bags "Thanks Alex." She said smiling handing him the bags "So shred are you ladies headed?" He asked getting a grip on the bags "Oh, back to the hotel, our brother is waiting on us. Knowing him he probably got some girls in there." She said rolling her eyes, Camron and Alex nodded "Well, to the hotel it is, lead the way ladies." Camron said as I turned around he stepped beside me putting his arm around my waist pulling me to him a bit. "This way I know you won't fall." He said grinning at me as I looked down trying to hide my face. Amelia smiled as she started walking infront of us, Alex at her side with the bags.
As I nervously walked with Camron I noticed how far away the hotel was from here "Ugh...." I mumbled knowing I was gonna find someway to embarrass myself infront of Camron "You say something sugar?" He asked righting his grip on my waist as we stepped over the same mans leg I originally tripped over "N-no." I answered lowly avoiding to make eye contact with him. He nodded as we walked the rest of the way in silence. "Well, here we are gentlemen." Amelia said as we approached he hotel "Nice" they said as two tall men opened the doors for us. We all walked in wading towards the elevators "So.....um how old are you...Camron?" I asked S Amelia presses the up button for the elevator "I'm 17 love, how about yourself?" He said in his British accent you could hear very clearly everytime he spoke "16, I-I'm 16." I replied as the elevator doors opened and we walked in "Perfect." He smiled. The elevator doors closed as Amelia pressed the button with the four on it. "You love you some shoes don't you love?" Alex asked her groaning a bit as he sat the bags down cracking his knuckles. She laughed patting his cheek softly "Awe, you'll be okey honey. We are almost there." She said as the elevator dinged and opened to our floor, fourth floor. He chuckled picking the bags up as we walked out "I sure hope Eli isn't busy doing you know what cause I left my key inside the room." She said as we passed up room 401 and 402. We all laughed walking "He seemed a bit tired Meya, I don't think he would." I said as we passed two more rooms "Yea well he is Eli remember?" She said looking back at me laughing a bit "Yea, you're right about that." I laughed a bit looking back ten peeking up at Camron. We finally got to our room, we all waited as Amelia knocked on the door "Eli! It's us, we brought a few friends with us. Open up." She said looking back at us. Two minutes later he opened the door "Sup?" He said as he looked at Alex and Camron stepping out the doorway "Just helping them out" Alex responded as we all walked in, Camron slowly loosing his grip around my waist. "Yea, thanks so much Alex! Eli this is Alex, Alex this is Eli our older brother." Alex nodded at him as e say the bags down "And this is C-Camron, h-he saved me f-from falling on my f-face." I said playing with my hands embarrassed "Nice to meet you man" Camron said sticking his hand out to shake Eli's "Yes, same to you. Thanks for saving my sis man." He replied shaking Camron's hand "Nah man, no thanks necessary it was all my pleasure to." He smiled nicely at Eli taking a step away from me as he placed his hands in his back pockets "Mhm" Eli said watching as Alex walked over to Camron standing by his side "If you guys need anyone to show you around just let us know, I gave Amelia my number so just five is a call." Alex said looking at Eli as he nodded "I'll call you tomorrow Alex, I would love to have you guys show us around." Amelia said smiling at him and Eli "Sounds good sweets, I guess we will be on our way then. Nice meeting you all." He said as I walked him and Camron to the door. "Bye, same to you too." Amelia replied waving "Deuces man" Eli said walking to the restroom. I held the door open leaning on it a but as Alex walked off seeing as Camron gave him a look. Camron cleared his throat turning to face me "it was really nice meeting you Dawn, see you tomorrow." He said stroking my cheek as he lightly kissed my forehead "T-that's the plan." I said blushing as he did so, smiling he walked off towards the elevator. I watched as he entered the elevator I closed the door smiling.