The following is an excerpt from my new book entitled: "God Damnit, Where The Hell Did You Come From!!!??!!!: A Biography of Wandering Villager Joe. The cunning speed and lightning swift manoeuvres of the assassin make him impossible to spot. Years of FREAKING EXPENSIVE Training in the Dark Guilds of Harvard, have turned these once, USELESS SCOUTS, into full fledge BAMF ASSASSINS. They posses Godly Abilities, that SHOULD make any human cower in fear. But unfortunately, these UBER EPIC BEASTS are at the mercy of.... Joe. Joe is a man. Just a normal everyday 9AM-5PM slave to society. He has no real skills. Although, he is a Professional Jack Ass ,and is the only person to be fired from 6 jobs at the same time, all within 20 minutes of being hired. On Christmas. To sum it all up, Joe sucks massive PeePee. (Keeping it PG) You would think after failing 3rd grade 18 times he might start to do something productive with his life. Joe did more than that. Joe took on 117,000 BAMF DARK ASSASSINS, and he didn't even know it. Joe was watching "Days of Our Lives" (his favourite soap opera) unaware to the fact that 117,000 BAMF DARK ASSASINS were waiting in the shadows. Joe went through 3 boxes of tissues that episode, as he reached for the next box he heard a loud obnoxious -sniffle-. OH NO!!! One of the BAMF DARK ASSASSINS was emotionally attachéd to daytime TV, and couldn't help but start crying when he saw Steve kill Mark for sleeping with his Lady Friend Jessica. They were doomed!!! The 117,000 BAMF DARK ASSASSINS were so terrified that an estimated 11,000 killed themselves for no apparent reason and the other remaining 106,000 left Joe a letter on his toilet seat, knowing he would have to move it to go. 11,000 Dead Spies lay strewn across his mother's tiny 500 sq ft apartment. Joe would surely notice them! But Joe lacks the ability to "Think" so when he made his next trip to the bathroom, he didn't pay any attention to the dead bodies that covered the ground and caused him to fall flat on his face on multiple occasions. The letter! Surely he would see that! Again, Joe failed the 3rd grade 18 times, and had to cheat his way through Kindergarten 2nd grade. He can't read. He lifted the seat and the letter fell to the ground. It read: "Yo Joe this is (insert specific person's name)'s BAMF DARK ASSASINS. Just wanted to let you know we tried to steal from you. Here is our address. Stay in touch. -- Yours Truly, (insert specific person's name)'s BAMF DARK ASSASSINS. Obviously this must be EXACTLY what happens when one of these fuckers catch you. It Makes Total Sense Right?