Surviving High SchoolPart 1 Ring...Ring...Ring... " I'm so tired.." It's Jessica's first day of high school "Jessica!Are you coming down yet? You are late for high school!" "Yes mom.." After Jessica brushes her teeth and eats her breakfast,she rides her bike to school. " PhewLuckily imma not late?." "Hi JessicaI heard u are the new girl? it's me principal LimHere I'll show u ur lockerIt's 543 okay? Have fun at WesterChest High,I'll be going now." "Okay thanks." Will Jessica gain friends and enemies? Or will she become a party girl or a girl jock?Read next chapter to find out!Sorry it's short I'm sleepy Pls leave feedback thanks! Emma
I think you're progressing the story too rapidly. Slow down and put more details. Also, put more spacing between dialogue, it's too crammed up and strains the readers eyes. To me it's all a big blur, and the emojis are not necessary(so I advise you take those out). All and all this story is not one of the best. It is very cliché and not of good quality. But that doesn't mean it doesn't have potential. I suggest you scrap this story, transform and perfect the idea, ADD DETAILS, and hopefully you'll be on your merry way
Details, a little more something to it, and maybe a little less use of the emotes. I don't really mind but just a little less. Because the emotes, the ending, and the title do resemble the game. Unless you were trying to go for what fanfictions really are and set your story in the game (however different school title and different principal). Unless it's a school within that universe. Speaking of which I haven't played the app in forever. I may need money to get all that I missed then.
As Jessica walks to her locker,she bumps into a girl with silky black hair and with a designer handbag. "Ouch! Sorry!" "Wtf?!Watch where u are going next time!" It's my first day of high school and I've already bumped into an angry girl? Ring It's time for cheerleading tryouts? *Blows A whistle* "Okay girls!Its time for cheerleading tryouts.Who would like to tryout please sign up here." Jessica and some of the girls signed up. " I will give everyone who signed up 1 week to prepare for a cheerleading performances.So far,we have 4 people who signed up. I will only choose 1 person to enter so make sure ur performance is good." After school is over, Jessica walks home. "Damn I don't have a single idea bout cheerleading.What should I do?" At school tomorrow... Jessica walks to her locker to take her backpack.Then,she sees the girl which she bumped into yesterday. " ur locker is next to me?" "Who are u talking to me?! Wait. U are the creepy girl that hangs around my locker." " Yes! Uh...no!" "Whateve.Yesterday, I saw u at cheerleading practice. Don't tell me a wimp like you is gonna tryout." " Well actually ,yes. I'm gonna try out." Before Taylor(the black haired girl) can reply , the bell rang. "Oh well. See you at bio nerd." To be continued.. I know it's boring and people want me to stop writing but I just can't stopToo bad lol. See ya all at the next chapter.
This is very much like the game. I downloaded it yesterday, because of the comments, and already I see several similarities!
Yeah I skimmed through it. I would just like to know what's the premise and purpose for writing it I also said tone down the emotes because they look like the facial expresion of the games since they got rid of the relationship counter since 2011