You aren't hot. Stop writing like you are. Chapter one has so many swears I didn't even read the other parts. This is honestly awful.
If you have nothing good to say Keep your fuckin mouth shut :') OP ignore this childish manner that I might bring upon
"Was that sarcasm?" -Sheldon Cooper If that wasnt sarcastic, thanks for the remark If it was sarcastic, thanks for the remark Does it look like I care oops no Now let me bump this in piece
@red tiger, thank you for your feedback and if you had read on you would have seen that there is no cursing past chapter 2 or 3 I think. But after chapter 1 the cursing goes down lots!
@thatonemerchant, thank you for the tips! also for defending me. I already have almost gotten silenced for cursing out a ignorant commentor.
okay this author is one of the best things that has come to ff just look at her god she's so polite and mature with feedback ahhhh
Sure, if you think her yelling at someone giving feed back is polite. You obviously need to get you're eyes checked lady. This work is garbage, I would never buy this.
@CaughtInCookieJar, What would you do to make the story better? Also,thank you for the feed back even though its ultimately negative.
Omg I know G Caught in the jar of cookies be a bit more positive and specific about what apparently makes it garbage *rainbow trout slap*
Ok this is coming from the author of the book. If you don't have anything positive to say do not say anything at all. I accept feedback but not ignorant,pompous,simpleton comments that are simply not worthy of my time. From now on if I look at the comments and I see ANY negative writing about my story you will be blocked and reported to a mod. It is sad that I have to say this because I ASSUME that we are all mature here. Thank you for you time!
Okay I'm not gonna correct you on your punctuation or anything but I would not use as many Curse words.
My comments/tips. Punctuation inside the quotation marks. I forgot if someone addressed this already but here's an example. "My name is Tamaki. Care to tell me yours?" Or He got up and said, "My name is, my name is, my name is, Ken Brodrich." Then he walked away. Also I do like the premise of a story about the attention seeking girl. I would like to know why Angela is the enemy and I think I'd tone down that violence a little since it is a lot for the beginning of a story. At least in my eyes. Just continue writing to the end or until you don't want to continue the story. Don't mind the others.
hOW IS SHE NOT POLITE HOW IS SHE YELLING JUST LOOK AT HER COME ON INSTEAD OF SPEWING USELESS CRITICAL SHIT JUST THINK FOR A MOMENT HOW USELESS YOUR WORDS ARE AND HOW POLITE THIS OP IS BEING EVEN IF YOU ARE BEING A LITTLE SHIT omg just go on with this story pls
Like ashlee said, I'll add on to- Please move the arguments to PM, you can easily access a poster's profile by clicking their name if you haven't noticed .w.
I'm not going to criticize you because that takes too much time but what I am going to say is after a line of dialogue you should start a new paragraph. Eg. "Wow Sammy that's really cool." Laine said. "I know I definitely agree." Benjamin added.
I would criticize you but words don't explain how awful these stories have been. It literarily makes me want to puke.