You're welcome! A space after the commas as well, by the way. I'm really glad a part of the community is openly accepting criticism and critique and advice, YOU GO GIRL.
Don't snap at readers for feed back. If you can't take even a little advice or criticism. Then your not ready to start writing for people to see. The way you write, is the way I wrote when I was 8.
You're not Gordon Ramsay, qurl. She is taking feedback, but the way you're giving it isn't exactly polite.
*you're not "your not ready to start writing" And you wrote when you were 8 years old? At this skill level? I understand if you're trying to prove a point, but in all honestly don't go overboard with it. :/
Chloe if you have a problem. It's called pm, stop trying to argue with me on someone's thread. I was giving advice, and you haven't exactly given polite advice in the past yourself.
Well this shit was horrible... IF U WERE A REAL WRITER WITH PUBLISHED BOOKS... I would not buy your crap.. Anyways, GOOD LUCK!
Snowwhite kitten: You obviously don't have any background in comprehensive reading. Because you lack skill in that category. As far as I can look you need the writing help. If ,me being at this young age, can use a broader vocabulary than you there is an issue.
They may not sound like me. Because I use profanity a lot. But less profanity.. LIKE GIRL THIS AINT FB THIS IS WRITING. U NEED TO LOOK LIKA BRO!!!!!!
Because if you keep bypassing and arguing this thread might get locked..... Or you might get silenced just wanna help ya out
Good so far but a few errors but people already told you what you need to correct! So pretty good so far keep going!
***Due to the comments, I have decided to keep this standard writing style. This is the first and only time I will change it! Thank you for reading!*** ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chapter 4: " I'm so sorry! ", I said. Everyone was staring and some were laughing. "It's ok." he said. "My name's Jason.". " Hi, names Ashley. You ride my bus!", I said as I cleaned spaghetti sauce of my face and shirt. "Yeah, I'm the quiet one." he said. " We should probably go to nurse to get some new shirts." I said. " Ok." he says. I see people glancing at me then whispering to their friends. Then I remembered: I'm with the nerd. But he's sort of cute. As we are walking Jason asks " Can I ask you something? ". " Sure, shoot." I say. " Why do you dress like that? " he asks. I was .......... shocked. " Well, um... I don't know "." What do you mean you don't know? " We walked inside the nurses office and Mrs.Ollie was there. " Well, I- "
owo I like it. Just a few minor errors, like with the punctuation marks and such. With the quotation and commas like this: "Jeez Aradia, loosen up," Vriska snorted. "it was only once." ^some example. ^^ Just a tip. I really enjoy this.