HOW TO SURVIVE ZOMBIES

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by tO-Adriane, May 30, 2013.

  1. RULE #1: HOME IS WHERE THE HATCHET IS
    Create a home base with plenty of weapons...the sharper the better.

    RULE #2: WATCH EXPIRATION DATES
    Stockpile food and water for long periods of time. Canned food is good. Junk food is even better

    RULE #3: KNOCK KNOCK
    Who's there? A Zombie! Be sure to create a strong entry and exit door. Barricade all doors and windows.

    RULE #4: YOUR MOM
    Trust NO ONE. Not even your Mom(Even if your friends think she's hot)

    RULE #5: HAVE A BURNING DESIRE
    Zombies hate fire. Learn to make fire with everyday objects.

    RULE #6: WEAR PROTECTION
    Avoid all Zombie fluids. YUCK!

    RULE #7: WEAR SUNGLASSES
    A nice pair of shades always looks cool and will protect your eyes.

    RULE #8:RUN FOR YOUR LIFE
    Stay fit and fast. Most Zombies run like the chubby kid in your third grade class

    RULE #9: BATTER UP
    Zombie down. Keep a large, blunt object nearby and be ready to swing at all times. A bat, crowbar of sturdy tree limb usually works nicely.

    RULE #10: NO BRAIN NO PAIN
    Decapitating a Zombie is best but kind of gross. Key is to destroy the brain stem

    RULE #11: BEWARE OF BUSH
    Stay clear of bushes and shrubbery in general

    RULE #12: STAGGER AND DROOL
    Learn to sagger, lumber and drool. Make Zombies think you're one of them. Just pretend you're a gym teacher.

    RULE #13: CLICHÉ IS OK
    Always check closets and under beds before relaxing in front of the tv.

    RULE #14: BOOBIES ARE GOOD
    Set up booby traps as warnings an alerts: Trip wires and rattling cans are a good idea

    RULE #15: SLIPPERY KNOBS
    Try putting Vaseline on doorknobs. Zombies get frustrated

    RULE #16: NICE TO MEAT YOU
    Always leave raw meat out in the open to distract Zombies. Better they eat it than you.

    RULE #17: ALWAYS WASH YOUR HANDS
    Hey, maybe your Mom was right!

    RULE #18: OBJECTS IN MIRRORS
    Check backseats before buckling in

    RULE #19:DON'T GET MAULED
    Avoid populated areas like shopping malls and movie theatres. To a Zombie, those are an ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT Buffet

    RULE #20:GO ALL THE WAY
    A wounded Zombie is not a dead Zombie
     
  2. MRE's never expire... Just saying.. Or at least from what my battles told me ._.
     
  3. iv seen this on a poster
     
  4. ehh copied this off a poster i bought from Five Below
     
  5.  adri
     
  6. What if one day I'm watching a 3D zombie movie and zombies run through the screen?.. At a theatre?
     
  7. RUN FOR YOUR LCE
     
  8.  Shocking error adri 
     
  9. Surround your house with treadmills :)
     
  10.  that's a wonderful idea Jen!
     
  11. xD boobies are good
     
  12. Son number for aint cool 
     
  13. #8 and #14 ftw