⛅ Late afternoon drew the sun down to the middle of the sky. The beauty of life never ceased to amaze. Especially to those who seeked it's wisdom and light. Lina shifted uncomfortably in her old apartment. Studying the pictures that delicately hung on the walls in the living room. Even adorning the small shelf near the window. She remembered how Jake set it up for her. A small wistful smile appeared on her lips. Her fingertips brushing against a picture of Jake hugging her from behind. They were enjoying a day at the log cabin in the woods. It was so much fun, they ended up staying four more days. She felt Alex getting close and immediately dropped her hand. Turning her gaze to stare out the window. The same trees she used to climb with Alex. It was all in the past now. Alex touched her shoulder gently, " It's okay to miss people. I do all the time. Just don't let it cloud your judgement. ", He said softly by her ear. Stepping away to look over a few pictures on the wall. She shivered slightly and turned away from the window. Stopping in her tracks when she noticed a red cotton v neck shirt on the floor by the couch. Glancing up towards the stairs with confusion. Her footsteps following a quiet path up to her old bedroom. She grimaced at the creaking sounding off from her room. Her footsteps stopped on the last step. Taking a deep breath and then continuing. She touched the door handle. Knowing she could not turn it, but her hand went through it. Then perhaps she could ghost through walls and doors then. It was worth a try. Slipping her hand down the door. She waited until she no longer saw her own hand. Stepping through the rest of the way. She stared open mouth at her bed. Angela moaned against Jake's neck. Jake had the sheet covering him up to his waist. While his female companion had her legs wrapped around his waist. While they performed acts of betrayal against her. She glared at them and turned to leave back through the door. Bumping in to Alex. She didn't know how long he had been standing there. Though it wouldn't matter because she was leaving. Ghosting through the door of her bedroom. She took off running down the stairs and ghosted through her back door. Climbing up a tree that was separating her place from the woods. She sat down on a middle branch and drew her knees up. Sobbing softly in to her arms that covered her face. Strong arms enveloped her minutes after. Holding her against a well built chest. She shifted and held on to him like a life line. Alex sighed and kept her close to him. Running his fingers through her blonde hair. Times like these were when you shouldn't be faced to be alone. Some even when crazy, lost in their thoughts and the eery silence. He hated Jake for breaking her heart. Even if she was dead. That was not grounds for cheating on her...especially with a girl that was supposed to be her best friend. Humans were so fickle and cruel sometimes. Lost in their own sense of emotions. Dooming themselves in their wrongful actions. He held her in his lap. Holding her close while she cried. Angela breathed lightly against Jake's shoulder after falling asleep. A serene smile on her face. Her hair falling in curls around her shoulders. She was pretty, he admitted. But nothing compared to Lina, his ex girlfriend. He lowered his head to his pillow. The sun slowly drew down for it's slumber. The moon rising to take it's place high in the sky. The waning of the moon provided little light, to those that crept. A body was dragged in to the woods. Wrapped in a dirty brown blanket. The body inside remained still and quiet. Unbeknownst to the world that it would miss another person. Alex stirred from his nap. Not realizing he had fallen asleep with Lina. He found himself leaned against the wall in her apartment. Lina wrapped up in his lap still. He smiled slightly at her and looked out the window. Jumping in surprise as a dark shadow went past the window. Something was wrong with this picture. He shook Lina awake and helped her up. Following after the dark shadow that snuck off in to the woods. Stopping at the edge, he heard Lina scream from the apartment. He turned and quickly moved to be at her side again. Gazing at the blood that tainted her living room floor.
This is really good. I just have two comments: the first is that you started out writing in first person, then switched to third, which was really confusing. And the second is that there's a bunch of grammatical errors. All of the sentences that start with a verb ending in 'ing' are grammatically incorrect. Sorry. Grammar nazi/perfectionist. But otherwise, this is REALLY good. I can't wait for more.
Yea, I noticed my mess up when it switched out of first person. And i really need to try other proof reading programs aside from the one I have. But thank you for the criticism. It's appreciated ^.^
Lina took a few steps back from the blood. Her blue eyes wide with shock. She bit her bottom lip and whimpered. A second murder in her house, she couldn't believe it. Karma was playing a really cruel joke on her. Though the only people left in her house were..Jake and Angela. Her faint heart hammered in her chest like a jack hammer. Even if she was dead, she still had a heart. Or at least she felt it was still there. Perhaps another cruel illusion frowned upon her. The want to feel alive again. She tiptoed around the blood which dragged on towards the back door. Her face masked in fear and concern. Even if they wronged her, she didn't want either dead. Alex slipped through the back door with ease. His head swiveling back and forth. With no signs of Lina in sight. He noticed a dark stain on the ground. As he walked towards the living room. Confirming the crimson red substance as blood. The color stood out more clearer than the dull colors of the furniture. When you pass on to the next world. It causes you're body to feel like its dying again. Everything becomes more heavy in density. Vision almost like an animal's, except with slightly more color. Alex saw Lina's slim figure and blonde hair disappear up the stairs. He nearly stumbled over his own footing. Keeping up with her was like chasing a jack rabbit. He whispered her name softly. Trailing after her up the steps. Lina fell back from the open door way. Her back hitting the far wall behind her. She never took her eyes off her old bed. A crimson color coating the sheets. Had she not recognized the color of her own sheets. She would have thought that Jake had bought new red sheets. The feeling of nauseous took over her. To her relief, the bed was empty. Only the left over mess to greet her curious eyes. She took a few deep breaths and turned her head away. Her fingernails scratching against the wood floor boards. Jake reached the door way within seconds. His face twisting in to one of disgust. He turned away from the new crime scene. Kneeling beside Lina, " Li..are you okay? Come on, lets get out of here. ", He said to her sensitive ears. Lina swallowed hard and took the hand now resting on hers. She refused to look directly at him. The tears in her eyes only a promise of an open dam. Alex frowned and wrapped an arm around her waist. Steadying her against his side. He guided her down the stairs. Avoiding the blood stained floor. Instead taking the pathway towards the front door. Her trembling did little to ease his stress. They walked through the front door and towards the graveled pathway of the drive way. She suddenly stopped walking to hug him. Alex closed his eyes, his arms enveloping her in a hug. He sighed lightly against her hair. Resting his chin on the top of her head. Her shaking slowly came to an end. It felt like eternity as they stood there. Lost in the dark silence. Reality was much colder than any book had ever written out. No one could really touch the deep depths of it. Lina moved slightly to lift her head. Causing him to move back a little. Her blue eyes gaze met his, quietly seeking comfort. Her eyes closed half way. Alex lifted his hand to brush his fingers gently across her right cheek. His gaze softening at her gentle sigh. Her cheek tilting towards his touch. Lina closed her eyes, feeling his hand tilt her chin. His light breath on her face. They grew closer, mere inches from each other. A scream broke the silence of the night. Footsteps hurriedly moving through the thick woods. Lina and Alex broke apart with bewildered gazes. Had they...we're they just about to..? The thoughts were shaken off by the scream. She looked at Alex for a second. Studying his features, then took off towards the scream. She knew what was happening. Perhaps this time she may be able to actually help save this one. Alex called after her, following her footsteps.
Footsteps traveled through the dense forest. Immediately stalked by a second pair of footsteps. It sounded as if they were in their own little frantic dance. The chase moved fluently, and crunched the soiled leaves beneath dirty shoes. Heavy breaths left strawberry red lips. The petrified female panted heavily and tore past more damp trees. They seemed to block her view up ahead. The trees leaned and moaned slightly with the sway of the wind. She tripped over a tree root that snuck its appearance in to the shadows. The side of her face hit the dirt. Red painted fingernails digging in to the ground. She scrambled to get back up. A metal blunt object came down on the crown of her head. Twice more there after, followed by a crunch. Blood splattered out from the three blows to the head. Scattering among the dark leaves in the dirt. Her body fell forward on its own accord. Making a body print in the dirt. Two large calloused hands grabbed on to her ankles. She was dragged slowly back to where she ran from. Her mark on the world would be eventually forgotten. As would the trail of blood mixing in with the dirt and sweat. Lina stopped abruptly in the middle of the woods. Her hazel eyes staring intently in to the darkness. Her lips moved to make words, though nothing came out. The blonde head of hair dropped, ears listening keenly. She nibbled on her bottom lip. Her hand slipped down the tree that was planted to her left. Thoughts flooded her head without consent. Her delicate hands moved to cover her ears. She hated to feel the presence of other spirits. Especially those that were grabbing for her attention. Alex came up behind her and moved to stand at her side, " Li? What's wrong?!? ", He questioned her in concern. His hands slid over hers as she crouched down. He supported her close to him. A grimace on his face as her sobs began. The feeling of helplessness drew out his anger. How could he help her? Lina clamped her teeth together and attempted to pull herself together. She would be of no use like this. She pulled herself away from Alex. Then stomped off towards the direction her feelings lead her. Alex struggled to get a handle on the events. His feet forced him to follow after her. His words of persuasion fell on deaf ears. She brushed off his concerns and continued onwards. The tall shadow of a human being, tossed a unconscious body on to a wooden table. The wound on the head of the woman. Stood out like a sore thumb under the dim lighting. Blood splurged from the cracked skull. It painted the area on the table crimson. Hands worked steadily to clasp metal chains around the dainty wrists and ankles. A deep sigh left the night stalker. Then the heavy footfalls moved away from the table. To prepare the sharp tools awaiting operation. The head full of curls shifted to the side. Conscious gained little by little with small movements. The young woman groaned and went to move her hand. A need to touch her aching head, the only thought. Her hand stopped three inches from the table. Restricted by dark metal chains. She began to panic and fidget violently. Screams fell from her lips, hoping to be heard. Eyes misting in terror, trailing to blend with the sweat dripping from her forehead. The sound of blades crossing, only increasing the fear and screams. Blood pumped to a beating heart at a rapid rate. Un able to keep control of itself. Wether it was the screams or tears. No longer mattered, the thirst and hunger were there. Ready to tear in to new flesh.
The shadowy figure moved to stand beside the table. Agitated with the screaming red head. He wanted to enjoy his kill before shredding it. She was making it very difficult. His fingers itched and moved to wrap around her throat. He squeezed out any remaining air in her lungs. Her eyes glistened with unshed tears. She was at his mercy, no control of her own fate. Her silent prayers to a god she hardly worshipped, went unnoticed. He shoved his thumb in to the middle of her throat. A sharp gasp escaped her, before her eyes rolled to the back of her head. His intentions of killing her continued until her heart stopped beating. Then his butcher knife came down to sever the veins in her neck. He ignored the warm blood flowing over his dirty fingers. The hunt and kill became second nature to him. He was a born killer from the moment he made his first kill. It was encoded in his icy blood. He wouldn't have it any other way. He would make sure his ways were seen. To erase the dirty from the world. A chuckle fell from his lips, steadily severing the rest of the limbs on the young body. Lina stumbled away from Alex's concerned gestures. She wanted the talking in her head to stop. Especially the horrible feeling growing in the pit of her stomach. She would have thought, that the dead didn't feel. Perhaps it really was different for those that were trapped. Was she considering herself as one of them? She was raised by Catholic parents. They believed in heaven and hell. The world she was living in now, was neither. She was caught in the in between. A shudder ran down her spine. Lina followed the jagged path towards the sounds of metal slicing in to wood. The path had been much too familiar. She heard the sharp screaming in her head intensify. A new migraine assaulting her head behind her eyes. Her fingers rubbed over the center of her forehead. Alex caught up to her side and gently grabbed her elbow, " Li! You need to take it easy! ", He said with concern in his voice. His eyes searching for hers with a frown. Lina yanked her elbow from his soft hand and moved forward. Another brush off towards his gestures again. She would have none of it. Their footsteps fell in sync with one another. Until they stopped in the lot doorway of a old work down shed. The smell of rotting flesh and decay. Would have drawn any scavenging animals. Lina glared accusingly at the dim light. It worsened the migraine she fought against. Alex followed her as she stepped in to the shed. Her footsteps jolting to a sudden stop in front of his. Her pale blue eyes stared helplessly at the red curls trailing slowly to the ground. Followed by pieces of flesh and tiny bits of bone. Blood covered the table and the man that stood by it. He carried on cutting and hacking away. A few squishy and strange things were pulled out of the body. Tossed quickly in to a bucket on the leaf covered ground by his feet. He would save those for later in his freezer. Lina gulped and backed away, turning from the shed. She shoved past Alex and took deep breaths near an old oak tree, " ANGELA!!!!! ", She screamed in shock, her eyes wide and shedding cold tears. Alex covered his mouth, and stepped away from the area. He moved to Lina's side and kneeled next to her shaking form, " Li..I'm so sorry-", He began to say softly, until she fell in to his arms and curled up. His hands rubbed her back affectionately. His gaze moved back towards the shed. The shadowy figure stepped out of the shed with bucket in hand. A low tune whistling from his lips. He cleaned his hands with a soiled rag and walked off. Life was taken away with not so much as a second thought.