:0 gangster beat u up hah just kidding. You should make a character named Charlie who steals Jenny from you
Hm, well I don't want to sound blunt, but as a serious reader I prefer that contain some originality. Some parts of it unpredictable pulling me in plot twists, making me read more. However, your story is very cliche. I can nearly guess what's going to happen as I read too many books about relationships and fanfiction. Your story is a great start if you are just starting to get in tune with your writing, but you also need to remember: the plot. From what I can see, your story basically focuses on two people liking each other, but there's this sore loser that won't leave them two alone. Trying to tear them apart. However, you move the story too fast. You need to get into your character position, writing what you would think if this scene happened to you. More details, more emotions, try to gasp what it would feel like to love someone and suddenly there's a someone trying to separate you from the person you love. Your basics main idea of the story doesn't have to be super originally, but you need to write details and plot twists that separate your story from other stories with the same basic idea. Make the two characters face hardship, expressing the pain of the two characters as they try and make it through the hardships in the process of love. Aside from those things, you also need to work on grammar and spelling. I know it's the Internet, but when you write, you always want to try your best to use grammar and spelling.
Noooo!!! It's finished :cry: i loved it , even it's clichés , Trully cute story , sorry i thought at the beginning it was gunna be like the other teen love storys ... :evil: