Just a little mystery story i'm working on. It's detail heavy, but I hope you like it anyway! Please let me know if I should continue working on it My mother looked out of place clacking her way down antiques street in her classy chanel kitten heels. She huffed and glared at me. "Come on, Cynthia! We have to get Aunt Aubrey another fancy vase. I don't like it here either but we have to do it." I shivered in the cold, October breeze. Mother always forced me to do the most tedious tasks with her. I watched her speed walk into a seedy looking, run down store. I checked to make sure no one from my prep school was around to judge me, then I reluctantly walked in. The first thing that hit me was the smell. It smelled like mold and rotten fish. I instinctively covered my pert nose. My mother was deep in discussion with a short old woman over an ancient Greek vase. She whipped her head around and smiled at me. "There you are, Cynthia! Do you think Aubrey will like this vase?" Suddenly, something sparkly behind my mother caught my eye. I was drawn to it like a fish to a hook. I picked up the object, a thick bracelet covered in millions of tiny gems. Suddenly I felt a hand on my arm. "Cynthia, dear. What are you doing? We are here for Aubrey. How about I stop by Fendi later and pick you up something nice?" My Mother flashed her annoyingly perfect smile at me. I shrugged her hand off me and held the bracelet up to her navy blue eyes. "Mother, look at this bracelet. Look at all the different gems! It's beautiful. May I have if?" I pleaded. My mother scrunched up her face in disgust as she held the bracelet by the tips of her fingers. "My dear...it has mold or something on it. Do you really want it?" The old woman came over to us and snatched the bracelet away from Mother. "This was from Russia. It is a beautiful piece, do not insult it." I glared at Mother. "Mother! Why can't I have it? It's beautiful!" The old woman smiled crookedly, "Yes. Is a bargain too. $10. You won't regret buying it."
Good use paragraphs and double space make sure to describe more give us some back story but good writings I love it haha
My mother scrunched her nose up in disbelief. "$10? For an antique? Isn't it gold?" The old woman sighed, "Yes ma'am. It is gold. Do you want it?" My mother held her perfectly manicured hand up in the old woman's face, "Hold on. I sense something very weird is going on here. Why is this antique, gold bracelet ONLY $10?" The old woman looked from mother's eyes to my own, then her eyes drifted to my mother's Louis Vuitton bag. "Well..." She paused, as if considering something, "Take it or leave it ladies. I have to make an honest living here," she smiled and her whole face crinkled. I looked pleadingly at my mother. She sighed and took out her Louis Vuitton wallet. "I'll have to take it. My daughter is simply enamored by it. Which is quite a feat. Why would she pick a moldy bracelet over Fendi?" Mother chuckled, seemingly to herself. The old woman rolled her squinty eyes and snatched the $10 from mother. She took out a little plastic baggie and simply tossed the bracelet into it like garbage. She smiled at me while handing it over, "Absolutely no returns. Enjoy it sweetie. Now, the door is that way as I'm sure you know. Bye bye!!" She made a rude shooing motion at me and mother. "Wait...I still need to buy Aubrey's gift..." said mother as she continued to look about the store. The old woman glared at mother and stomped over to her in her shrivly little slippered feet. "Ma'am I have important business to attend to. Leave at once. And take your daughter with you." My mother looked appalled, "Fine, then. I suppose you don't deserve any more of MY business. Come along Cynthia." The old woman whipped her head around to me and grinned crazily, "Your name is Cynthia, eh? Does anyone call you Cyn for short?" "Don't answer her, Cyn." Mother ordered as she grabbed my arm and prepared to drag me outside. I took one last glance at the old woman and she gave me a knowing wink.