How to War

If you are an ugly barbarian warmonger wanting to know how to war, you have come to the right place. This guide will teach you how to start a
war and keep it going good. You will learn everything from the basics to even the more advanced basics. Youll learn everything from fighting to defending. Youll learn how to get the booty and not get your booty booted.

First things first, you need to figure out when you are warring. What era do you live in? Are you a caveman? A babylonian? Assyrian? Mesopotamian?Persian? Greek? Roman? Barbarian? Medieval? Revolutionary? Modern?

After you figure that out, we will be dealing with weaponry. If you are closer to the stone age, youll be using sticks and stones! Duh! What else have you got other than your thick skulls? If you are Greek and furthermore youll be using bronze and metal weapons like swords and maces and stuff who knows. Then if you are a revolutionary youll be using guns and muskets and cannons. Idiot. Lastly the modern soldier will have machine guns grenades tanks and drones and who knows what.

Transportation ranges from feet to horses to ships and jets.

Okay enough of that blabber! How do you get a war started? Hmmm? Ohhh yeaaah...

Ahem ahem

So if you are a caveman, tell me, how are you reading this? :0 and youre probably one of the only humans so i think itd be in your best interest not to kill off the human species.

Anyone else can start a war by rounding up your weak armies and marching to the nearest empire with your weapons and raiding the kingdom. Or... you can speak with the ruler and slap that ******* across his/her filthy face. Thag outta get things goin. Revolutionaries can do this with intricate letters and modern soldiers can do this by killing a political figure or threatning nuclear bombs.

Now how do you fight on the offense? Muster up all that lousy energy of yours fatty and take down as many opposong enemies possible. I will not be going into further detail.

For defense you cry out to the UN! Oh wait UN doesnt do ****! Ha HA! But seriously if you have no UN then you just gotta deal with it sucka! h
Hold down your fort and hope they have mercy. Whyd you start a war in the first place?

To keep the war going, keep provoking them with deaths insults and raids. Nothing else to say here. Look at how to start a war for more info on this.

Booty! Assuming the opposing kingdom nation whatever HAS anything to offer, you just gotta go find it. Raid their castle fort nation and take their RESOURCES! yay! Thats what you were there for the whole time right? Yay

Assuming you were able to get booty, you havent been booted.
If you have been booted.. then Rest in peace you scoundrel.

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