random poem/writing comment for improvements!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by -meow_cait-, Feb 22, 2013.

  1. Inhale, exhale the toxins we consume. The suicide love letters and the blood stain blossoms in bloom. The bruising kisses tenderly given by hand, black blue caresses induce the echoing screams that make no sound. Follow your heart and follow your tongue, lust and desire cause bullet hole stains on each and every lung. What is wanted is not needed if one was to be sane, but insanity holds it's place in the land of sex, pain and fame. Destroy yourself in the search of love speckled vanity, lose yourself in the darkening maze of desperate sanity.

    Please comment what you think and how I could improve! Thank you :))
     
  2. Actually..I think you're very talented.
     
  3. I like this. 
    Very interesting.
     
  4. Bravo!!!!! Excellent!!!!
     
  5. Aw thank you all:D I shall post some more? <3
     
  6. I can relate to this some how lol
     
  7. Aw is that good or bad <3