The plot seems good, but I agree with Jelly. More description would make the story a little better than it already is.
Give me your definitions of "more descriptive". Different people have different opinions on description, and I want to make this story the best it can be.
I'm currently seeking help on how to better my story. Please standby for further updates. Feel free to wall me any advice concerning the story. The next update of the story is currently being written so there is still room for improvement. Better hurry though.
More description, like I dunno, "the curtains bunched up in such a fashion that made it flow ". That probably sounds awful, but just make it to where the reader can visualize the scene
Flash forward past the boring parts of the boat getting under way and all that. They've been out at sea for 4 or 5 hrs already COLIN It started off as a bright, sunny day with a few of those clouds..you know, the ones that look like fluffy balls of cotton candy or cotton balls. Despite the warmth of the sun, it was rather chilly out on the open water. The wind was blowing hard and spraying us with freezing cold sea water. The gang had gone belowdecks to warm up and Sasha was snuggled up to me, wrapped in her blue beach towel, shivering. Worried, she turns to me and speaks. "Do you even know where we are, Colin?" "Honestly or lying?" "Honestly" She says, slapping me in the back of the head. "Ow. And honestly..I really don't know, Sash" " Why did you have to do those circle things, Colin? You always have to show off for Troy and Mike. Besides that, you should've realized your navigational equipment wasn't functioning properly BEFORE we even left the marina!" "Sasha, be quiet. Complaining about it isn't going to change the situation. We're in enough trouble without you nagging me about my stupidity, Sasha" "What do you mean by "we're in enough trouble", Colin?" "See those dark clouds on the horizon? That's a squall, Sasha. The friggin rudder is jammed or something. " I can feel the panic rising in me as I realize just how bad of a predicament I had gotten my friends in. "What's a rudder, and what's a squall, Colin?! You're scaring me!!" Sasha's voice was becoming shrilled and shriller, reminding me of nails on a chalkboard. My boat lingo probably was frightening her, but I think that storm out in the distance was more alarming than talking about a rudder. "The rudder is the thing that helps steer the boat, ad a squall is a storm that can pretty much pop up out of nowhere over the sea, Sasha. We can't turn around away from the storm. We can either stop here and try to weather it out, or we can go right through it. Either way, this vessel isn't properly equipped for riding out a storm of that magnitude". Since we were arguing pretty heavily, neither of us was paying attention to how hard the wind had started blowing, or how the sea was positively rolling now. We didn't notice the huge wave that was about to wash over us..... More later. Phone dying.
Well. It turns out that 3 POV'S is too much for this armature writer to handle, so I've trimmed it down. The remainder of the story will be done in Sasha's POV, so be bear with me as I make the appropriate corrections. The cold, angry wave crashes into us, drenching us to the bone. The force of the wave is so great that it causes the boat to list dangerously to the side. The fiberglass decking becomes slick with seawater, and the screaming wind makes it almost impossible to stand. Each furious wave that pounds into the yacht causes it to moan and groan like an injured animal, the sky is dark, rolling...black... With bright flashes d lightening that light up the entire ocean. It's as if the sea is angry and trying to claim the yacht for itself, and the poor yacht is fighting a losing battle for its very life. Colin yells something and gestures wildly towards the compartment containing the inflatable life raft and emergency beacon. I fight my way to it and yank the bulky yellow raft from its damp cubby hole and I jerk hard on the string to inflate the raft. I jump back as it suddenly inflates and startles me. A chilly gust of wind lifts the raft a few inches from from the deck and I frantically jump in the raft to keep it from blowing away. I feel a frightening jolt and the yacht vibrates violently. I do a hop jump thing to the side of the yacht, making sure to keep the raft beneath my soaked sandals. The sight that greets me when I lean over the guardrail petrifies me more than my worse nightmare. Sorry it took so long to update. I will update more often based on requests.
The boat top, the painted line that indicates how low a boat should sit in the water, is completely submerged. Colin, who had run belowdeck to get the rest of the gang, runs toward me with the others trailing closely behind him. The twins are hysterical and the guys are trying to be brave for them, but when they look at me.... When they look at me, I can see the terror and panic within their depths. (Mike to Colin) We hit something, man! The cabins are filling with water! (Colin urgently shouts to mike) Get the raft in the water, Mike. Keep hold of the tow rope. Grab an extra rope and tie it off to the guardrail. Make the girls get in the raft even if you have to throw them in it! I've got to see how bad the damage is! I quickly dodge under Mikes arm and run after Colin. The boat keeps shifting and rolling side to side, making me feel like a drunken man that had too much to drink. I bump into Colin, who had come to a dead standstill in the galley. We're standing in water up to our knees and it's steadily creeping higher and higher. Pots and pans are floating in the water...cabinets are swinging back and forth, their contents scattered and broken. The pot of stew I had cooked for lunch lays on it's side, the contents flowing in a blood red stream across the countertops and into the water. We give the destroyed galley one last long lingering look before venturing back out into the screaming wind and stinging rain. We slowly make our way to the guardrail where the raft is tied, steadily having to fight step after step against the angry, harsh wind. We look down into the raft and we can see our friends huddled in it, clinging to each other for dear life. More soon.