How to farm

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Koolzer, Mar 12, 2013.

  1. Hi. Are you looking to gain more information on how to farm?
    Well, you've come to the right place.
    First you'll need to have a drive. You will need to have motivation for farming. Once you have created and have this desire, you are now ready to farm.
    Second, you will need supplies.
    Are you a big farmer or a small farmer?
    For a small farmer, you'll need the following:
    1.Shovel
    2. Hoe
    3. Rake
    4. Tiller
    5. Mini shovel
    6. Mini rake
    7. Pocket shovel
    8. Pocket rake
    9. Barbie shovel
    10. Barbie rake or should I say Ken?
    11. Other garden tools you can think of
    12. Leaf blower
    13. Lawn mower
    14. Hedge cutter
    15. Grass trimmer

    Okay so now you have these supplies. There are
    Many more tools for you to obtain in order to be a small farmer.

    Now lets go to big farmer
    If youre a big farmer youll need these supplies:
    1. A shovel
    2. A rake
    3. Mini shovel
    4. Who am I kidding you dont need those^
    5. Ride on lawn mower
    6. Ride on hedge trimmer
    7. Ride on tree cutter
    8. Ride on- ride on
    9. Tractor
    10. Plow
    11. Cultivator
    12.harrow
    13. Power tiller
    14.subsoiler
    15.roller
    16. destoner
    17. Planter
    18. Seeder
    19. Seed drill
    20. Sprayer
    21. Manure spreader
    22. Fertilizer spreader
    23. Irrigation
    24. Sorter for produce
    25. Multiple loaders

    Once you have obtained all these, figure out how they work.

    Third, youll need seeds and seedlings
    Youll need many many of these seeds depending on how big of a farmer you are

    To figure out which seeds you want, youll need to check your budget assuming you have one after blowing all that money on those ride ons.

    Okay so you have a lot of money and can buy whatever seeds. Next check to see which ones will grow in your farm land that you bought. You did buy it right? If not, go buy some weapons and assassinate the land owner. Okay now youre ready to plant. So depending on where in the world you live and hemispheres and all that mathenatical manure, you can figure out what plants you can grow and which crops will yield a lot of harvest. Corn grows anywhere. Want quick money? Grow corn! Yay! High fructose corn syrup. Kids drink it like water now adays!

    Lastly, you need to find oompa loompas from an unknown island and inslave them to do your bidding and get cocoa beans. Yum.

    And thats the conclusion to the guide to building a successful chocolate factory.





    *I in no way promote the growth of corn. Thank you. Killing is fine though.























    ** killing is not promoted by me. But I do have weapons and supplies to build robots to do it for you. Ill teach you how to do it yourself in the next guide: Building robots for mass genocide.
    No purchase necessary to participate
     
  2. Damn.
     
  3.  love this post!! Well done!
     
  4. Make sure to purchase farm animals as well.
     
  5. qmud. 
     
  6. Haha this was so childish I was really reading it like a dumbazz lol. This was funny
     
  7. Who's excited for the next guide?
     
  8. Next guide will be released in tbe upcoming few days
     
  9. 1 Day till it.comes out. Preorder today by texting
    666-666 To 666 thanks! Thatll be $20,000 funding our.program
     
  10. How to war Out now!
     
  11. Lol!!!! LMFAO