Questions for the readers: 1. Has this been an okay, room for potential, great or an amazing story? 2. Should the ending be coming soon or would you like to see a couple more updates? 3. Is there anything in the story you would change? 4. Should I shorten the updates, make them longer or are they fine? ** what would you rate this story? It needs a lot of improvement. it's a good story just needs work. it's a great story. perfect! Don't change it! I got emotional to the characters emotions, I related/understood to the conflicts and resolutions in a way. 100/100. This is my feedback so please answer honestly.
Anthony came into my bedroom to my side, "mommy?" He tugged on the back of my shirt, did he just say his first word? I raised up from the bed carefully, I wiped the tears stuck on the corners of my eyes that never made it out and picked him up. "Your brother is sick, honey," my voice cracked; dry. Anthony pointed to DJ soundly sleeping, "yes, he's sick," I pouted at him. Anthony frowned, "aww, bwrover," he jumped from my lap and walked to the other side of the bed. He kissed his brothers cheek lightly and gently hugged him, "get bedder, bwrover. I wuv you." I couldn't handle it, when I was finally sick, tired and over crying I cried again. I slowly got up to walk downstairs to find Dominic, "go up there and look at Anthony." Dominic looked over at Ben, both shrugging their shoulders and went upstairs. I sat on the couch, my knees pulled up to my chest, my arms wrapped around my legs and my head down I silently cried. I couldn't handle it, every little thing seemed to be the cause of my crying.
Dominic and Ben both were a mess coming back downstairs, Ben continuing to the couch, Dominic stopped with his arms opened for me. My babies had only been on earth for a year and now I had to accept that I was losing one, slowly. I thought Anthony was too young to understand what 'being sick' meant but with all the talk about it in the house I figured he had caught on. My phone rang, I nonchalantly answered without bothering with the caller I.D, my mother. "Hello?" She spoke sweet. "hey, mom!" I tried to hide my crying from her and act happy to hear from her. She was the only one in the dark about DJ, Anthony and Dominic. "What's wrong, honey? You sound like you've been crying for a month. Is everything okay? Did you meet a guy? Did he make you cry? Are you pregnant?!" "Mom, I'm sorry. I did meet a guy, we've been dating for a year now and we have two babies together." I sighed, tears beginning to swell up I'm my eyes. It was silent on the other end for a moment. "Paisley, why didn't you tell me, sweetheart? I'm not mad but I'm not happy either. Are they okay?" I could tell her voice was more sincere when she heard my sniffing fit with my nose. "No," tears swelled up more, I knew if I blinked my eyes they would begin to fall. "It's DJ, he has a-" I couldn't finish, I tossed Dominic the phone and ran upstairs. I was a whimp, I had to stop crying and stop 'right now!' I had to be strong for DJ and not let me see me weak like this. I could hear Dominic standing in the hallway, still on the phone with my mom. "I'm sorry you had to find all this out through the phone, it'll be better to meet you in person." 'what the hell has this ass-munching butt-face son of a bitch done now?' I thought to myself. No way was she coming down here, no! NO!
Today was the day my mother would be visiting. I was not pleased with how this happened, in fact I would've much rather laid in bed and been left alone. My mother and I had problems, the basic teenager stuff usually but most of the time it was just her acting bi-polar. One hour she's fine and the next she's yelling at me over relatively small things; one reason why I moved in the first place. Dominic was downstairs with the babies after spending an hour trying to get Ben to leave so that it could be just us. "it's going to be a long day." I thought to myself walking downstairs. Mother would be here any minute. "You ready for this?" I mumbled to Dominic, a bit annoyed that he had invited her over when we was very little prepared and not ready to meet the parents, not like this. "What's the worst that can happen? It might be good for both of us." He grinned, hopeful. "The worst is me moving back with her, never to see you again, the kids go for adoption, I get put on lock-down and mom puts a restraining order out on you. That's the worst that can happen knowing her, Dominic." I responded annoyed, my voice snapped. Dominic's face straightened, "oh," he sighed, "sorry." Looking down at DJ and Anthony he pulled a fake smile. "Don't be, it's not your fault entirely, mom invites herself when she's most un-welcomed. Maybe she can help us with our relationship; work out the kinks." I sighed deep and hopeful, I wanted us to work out. "It'll be okay, Paisley. I promise, look at us; we made it through so much together already. I wouldn't leave you for the world. Your mother would have to pry me away with a crowbar and duct tape me to a chair." I didn't want to be told what I wanted to hear, I wanted to be told what I needed. "We may leave the house when we're angry but we always come back. I know what I have at home and no girl is going to take your spot, you've got my heart. You're my gorgeous, beautiful, dweebing baby mom and girlfriend. If any girl EVER replaced you, they would have majorly big shoes to fill, but in all honesty no girl even compares to you." He continued after a cough. At least he got his favorite smile after that along with a kiss. Why was it like pulling teeth to get him to be like this 24/7? Why couldn't we joke around, play and be cute like we used to do? What changed? Why was we so complicated? Those were questions I'll never get the answer to 'cause neither of us understood why. We just kept our mouth shut from asking those questions in fear it would start up a fight. We quickly went back into position after hearing a few knocks on the door, "come in" I answered. Dominic reached for my hand and we smiled when she came through, "hey, mom." "This must be Dominic, Paisley what have I told you? You know how I feel about this." 'well, so much for a "hey, sweetie," things were starting off wonderfully already. I'm on a roll with this one.' I thought to myself.