Avery. She was perfect. In my mom's eyes, my dad's eyes and everyone's eyes. She was slender and had straight, long blond hair falling down her back. To me she was my idea of perfect, until the night I died. This is my story of Avery. "Let me out of here", I screamed as I stood shivering in the closet. The draft from the window was seeping in and all I had on was shorts and a tank top. I just positively knew it was my brother since he was an original prankster, of course though I was wrong. I stood there pounding on the door until it fell open. The suddenness caused me to trip and land face down in front of Avery. She was trustworthy and kind. She had everyone's trust and their attention. "Why were you in the closet," she asked. I told her I was locked in when I went to grab a snack and I thanked her for helping me. She looked at me straight in the eye and said your welcome. Underneath her smile though I could see a touch of malice. So I did what I do best. I ran and I ran straight into Jonathan. Avery's boyfriend. She loved him in a way that I could never understand, and I never did. Johathan looked at me with a glare of hatred that I couldn't understand. I trusted Avery and Jonathan because after all. He was my brother and she was an angel. One that hid her true nature of utter compulsive behavior deep inside her. And later that night I saw her true self. If you like this and want to hear more please comment. Thanks
I like it! Please continue but.. •Try to use comma's instead of full stops all the time.. •Use paragraphs
Move," Jonathan barked at me. I was surprised at his fierceness but I ran straight to my room without a second glance. My room was huge and I pretty much had the perfect one. My cat, Eddy, was stretched out in his bed in the corner silently sleeping. I was shaking with fear and confusion. KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK The door shock as the person barged in and I knew it was my best friend Will. We have been friends for life and he often came through the back door of my house to find me. He was the dream boy. Dark black hair lightly falling into his crystal blue eyes. A chiseled jaw and a lean but muscular body. "What's wrong," he said giving me a knowing look. "Nothing" I stated "C'mon Bells I've known you forever, I know something is up." "You know I hate that name and really, nothing is wrong" I said. "Are you nervous for about later today I. Can't wait to see your blue dress," he said. To be truthful I was nervous but I did what I usually do when people ask. I just denied it. And then it hit me and I'm pretty sure I turned as pale as a piece of paper. You see I'm Princess Isabella up for the throne and having my precerimonal dance tonight. The brother would get the throne if something happened that left me unable to rule. Avery and i used to always play a maid and princess game. I was always the maid. Please post a comment so I know if I should write more.