1. Try adding more detail, but don't just put a whole clump of it somewhere in the story. Try to weave it in 2. You make kinda short updates, and, as more enjoyable for the readers, you want to make a long one. 3. Build the suspense, it'll get readers all worked up Good luck! This is really good, though
i try my best but might not make anymore long updates because then my story will be done in my next post or something like that
If this doesnt meet ur standards i know someone who wouldnt care ---------------- Kyrsten's POV While in this storage unit, I heard a strange tune. It sounded like it was to the tune of "Row, row, row your boat" Time, time, the time is here, time for you to go. You've been given all your life and now you must pay. Pay, pay, pay the debt, that your parents made. Your parents did something bad and it drove me mad. Your, your, your parents, have killed mine. I don't know why they did, that is your job. Time, time, the time has come, time for you to die. I will miss you very much, since you were my friend. I didn't realise it til it was to late. Sabrina was the one, she was the one I trusted most. I guess I was wrong. But then I heard a gunshot, and before I could say anything, I was dead. -------------- Please comment and don't think this story is over, not yet at least.
Someone once said dont write stories for the fans write stories because u want to -------------- Now that that is over with, I need it to seem like I'm the good guy again. I find where I put Rebecca and Megan, and I whisper,"Hey you guys is that you??" "Yes!" they both scream at once, good thing I forgot about covering their mouths. "You guys we need to get out NOW!!" " Why now, we need to find Kyrsten first." "No Rebecca, when I found her it was already to late." trying to hide my feelings about her and her family. "You mean she was" "Yes now let's go, before are fate ends up like hers." there wasn't any reason for her to finish her sentence. We finally get out, even I forget my way out of this place. "Guys there is something I need to tell you." "You killed Kyrsten didn't you?" "Megan, what makes you think that?"I'm very worried that they already hate me. "I saw you do it." "You saw what do what!!" "That's right Rebecca there is no way we are ever going to be friends EVER!! I saw the fiery in her eyes. And now I know how I looked when I saw my parents being murdered. "Goodbye Sabrina FOREVER!!!" "I highly doubt that." "What makes you so sure, I know you are 16." "That's no difference. Besides I quit school in 6th grade because of Kyrsten's parents, so I'll be going to your school." "What did her parents ever do to you?" Now it was Rebecca speaking. She was totally interested in this new conversation. "Her parent's killed mine all I wanted was revenge." "Wait, so Kyrsten was the bad guy? "No, not her but her parents were and I wanted to stop the family tree." "Ohh well then, I'll see you at school, I guess." She waves goodbye and only Megan is left standing. "You're shocked aren't you??" She slightly nods her head and leaves. ---------- This concludes my story but my next one will come in time. It will be called New guy. I apologies for any mistakes I have made. If you like this story and want to be in the next one wall me.
Its sad but its liks Krysten's friends arent even sad like once they know why sabrina did it they're like "Oh ok whatever." and just walk away like nothing happened
Don't take this seriously, but when I saw who made this, I was like, "Yeah, okay. This girl could use some tips cause..." And I just skimmed the story