The Sticky (and Fishy) Life of Solluxander Captor

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Goldialocks, Feb 1, 2013.

  1. --
    Everything belongs to the genius that is Andrew Hussie. I own NOTHING. ;n;

    This ship is erisol, majorly erisol, totally erisol, and completely erisol. Minor possible ships include arafef, karezi, davejade, johnvris, gamtav, hinted onesided johnkat, hinted onesided davekat (haha wow karkat control your hormones), totally fluffy pale equinep, AND OUR GLORIOUS LESBIAN STARS, ROSEMARY.

    Yeah okay those are just the short list of things that I ship. Read homestuck, guys. It's perfect. Seriously, and I never spend my summer holidays locked up in my room reading comics. This is special. This is it. This is your FUTURE. *twinkle doki sparkles*

    --

    You're not sure what it is about Eridan Ampora that makes your heart thump with loathing and absolute shittiness. And by shittiness, you guess you mean that dumb beat in your stupid chest that comes every two seconds whenever he steps into the classroom with the arrogant look glued onto his face. His eyes are grey like mist, but whenever you look through his bespectacled eyes you see the faintest glint of lavender. They're captivating, complimenting him well with the soft auburn curls that frame his angular face. The violet streak that cuts through the middle makes it crude and sort of ruins it, but then again it goes along well with the crooked perfection that is him. Yes, it is him. It is the annoying fishprick who buys overpriced coffee and has the dumbest most nauseating fashion sense, who will be the one who fucks up your future, and your life.

    Welcome to college, Sollux Captor. Your life will never be the same again.

    --

    caligulasAquarium [CA] started pestering twinArmageddons [TA]

    CA: so sol

    CA: wwhats up


    You're not sure how to reply to that. As soon as you got to your computer, the first thing that popped up was the obnoxious purple text greeting you along with the strange typing quirk you never quite (but always did) understood. Just reading the three lines gave you chills up your spine, in that strange way you can't really define. You even read it with his strange and alluring accent inside your head, letting the one syllable word that is your nickname roll around the gears that spin. You're tempted to play nice and actually respond without snark, but that wouldn't be fun now would it? Just you and the most pompous jerk in the universe throwing insults back at one another. Obviously.

    TA: bug off fish2tiick ii've got better thing2 two do.

    CA: wwoww sol wway to be a dick

    CA: wwho shovved a stick up your ass anywway


    You smirk at his terrible comeback. You miss these conversations, picking at his taste in fashion, taste in everything. But you should play fair. After all, this is Eridan Ampora you're talking about, and it's like 2AM in the morning. Hell if you're going to waste studying time because of some dumb idiot.

    TA: iit'2 biiology.

    It takes an appalling amount of time for him to respond. Your right hand is still hovering over the keyboard, while you continue scribbling down random answers on the paper with your left. It's only when the graphite breaks do you curse under your breath and reach for a new pencil, not bothering to find a sharpener in dark abyss that is your drawer. It's then that you meet Eridan's terrible violet text once again.

    CA: oh

    CA: need help


    TA: no thanks fiish for braiin2.

    CA: wwoww sol wway to be a dick

    TA: heh.

    CA: anywway

    CA: if you dont need my glubbin amazin help then at least help me wwith my calculus homewwork then


    God, you can already hear his obnoxious accent inside your head.

    TA: go do iit your2elf.

    CA: pleeeeease sol pleaaaaase

    TA: jesus fuck fiine now 2top actiing liike a fiive year old kiid.

    CA: hah im jokin sol

    CA: hell if im spendin my beauty sleep on math

    CA: ivve got other things to do that should be more productive than doin shitty calculus


    TA: ju2t giive up on your 'beauty 2leep'.

    TA: you'll alway2 be ugly.

    TA: and what would you be doiing? you've got nothiing goiing on.


    CA: fuck you sol

    CA: at least im more handsome than you are

    CA: tch

    CA: im wworkin my ass off wwith studyin literature

    CA: it may seem unusual to you but at least i put dedication to my subjects

    CA: wwell

    CA: excludin calculus an such

    CA: but yes so get used to knowwin that i


    TA: oh boy.

    CA: eridan ampora

    TA: je2u2 fuck not thiis agaiin.

    CA: GO SUCK ON A BULGE SOL

    You're laughing even as you type on the keyboard, and stiffling or trying to muffle your laughter won't do jackshit. He's so full of himself, you think. So, soooo full of himself.

    TA: nah.

    CA: ugh fine wwhatever

    TA: heh[/color[

    CA: an as i wwas sayin

    TA: oh ye2 plea2e, enliighten me.

    CA: i actually do hide under my bed sheets wwith a flashlight and printed sheets of shakespeare evvery night

    CA: i actually do havve a passion for studyin

    CA: unlike YOU


    TA: you're 2oooo uniique.

    TA: oooh mr ampora oooh 2woon.


    CA: a course i am

    TA: do you take black and whiite photography wiith a viintage camera two?

    CA: as a matter of fact

    CA: yes

    CA: yes i do

    CA: care to see the pictures sol

    CA: theyre quite magnificent

    CA: but a course youd knoww nothin bout beauty


    TA: oh my god.

    TA: you're 2uch a lo2er.


    CA: thats comin from the geek wwho spends ten hours on his computer codin

    TA: dont act liike you're no better, and tho2e ten hour2 earn me money two 2ave up for college 2o fuck you.

    TA: people pay me for my code2 and two fiix theiir 2hitty computer2. cue your 2tiinkiing hiighne22 ampora.


    CA: ugh

    CA: no need to get your panties in a bunch sol

    CA: i get it

    CA: im not as clueless as you think i am yknoww


    TA: could have fooled me.

    CA: oh shut it

    CA: at least ivve got a passion


    TA: mhm, 2ure you do.

    CA: cod sol wwil you stop bein a sarcastic dick suckin ingrate for a second

    TA: ii'm 2orry but you're not a2 iintere2tiing a2 you thiink you are.

    CA: its not my fault you dont bother takin the time to knoww more about me

    You stop typing for a second, and arch your eyebrows. Know nothing? You know that he stutters like a fool whenever he's nervous or embarrassed, fidgets in his seat like a dumbass when he doesn't know the answer, writes in cursive because he's a fancy asshole, wears vintage clothing and flaunts it like a flamboyant prick, and just drives you insane with his ridiculous (and hot) accent. God, you hate him so much.

    And—

    Wait.

    Why does he keep telling you to go suck on a bulge?

    TA: and what ii2 wiith you and telliing me two 2uck a dick?

    CA: oh my COD SOL

    TA: ii'm ju2t 2ayiing

    TA: you u2e that a2 an iin2ult liike all the tiime.

    CA: wwell guess wwhat sol

    CA: go choke on a bulge


    TA: 2oooo oriigiinal.

    CA: hmph

    TA: don't get 2o prii22y.

    CA: youre a asshat

    TA: ooh ii'm 2o offended.

    CA: you should be

    TA: go fuck yourself

    CA: <3

    Your chest bumps at the sight of that symbol.

    Wow. Okay. You're speechless.

    And very, very disturbed.

    TA: ... ewwww.

    This will not end well.

    --

    I am so sorry guys! BB coding is an ass!

    And this really came from a kickass RP I did. I was the Eridan! :DD
     
  2. This is really good.But I'm really confused at the same time
     
  3. Hehehehe. Sorry about that! This is a Homestuck fanfiction, but it's set in an alternate universe so all the characters are human with different backstories.

    Well, yeah, okay. The guy with the purple text's name is Eridan Ampora, and the guy with the yellow text is Sollux(ander) Captor. XD
     
  4. Ohhhhh. I see. Thanks.
     
  5. Never thought id see homesick fanfiction on here, the prose that you used in the beginning for sollux seemed a little too- forgive the pun- purple prose for sollux and would have fit eridan a bit better in my opinion but its pretty good none the less. I like that you took the time to colour their text.
     
  6. Haha. Thanks! BB coding is such an ass. ,_, They don't have mustard yellow, so I stuck with gold instead. Dx

    I just love Homestuck so much. ;u;
     
  7. Ikr? best webcomic. Great story not to mention how fast it updates, and the interactive flashes too! And the fandom is pretty awesome when their done geeking out. anyway are you planning on writing more for this? I think it has the potential to be really good!
     
  8. Also i think they have a colour called dark khaki that's a sort of dark yellow
     
  9. Thank you! And yesssss. Too bad Hussie is crashing so many ships! ;n;

    Hehe. 8est we8comic!
     
  10. OMG YES

    thank youuuuuuu ;u;