How It All Happened

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by -_iBrooke_-, Jan 20, 2013.

  1. It all started off when me and my boyfriend were doing it,A knock on the door drove me towards losing my memory.I don't know how I remember how it all happened but,it's true.

    Me and my boyfriend were having sex,a knock on the door stopped me.I walked towards the door,in rather a happy mood.A man grabbed me by the arm and threw me in his car,he drove away,luckily my boyfriend saved me from being raped,he shot the man in the head with a rifile.The car crashed and swindled,I was unconscious.My boyfriend ran outside and tried waking me.But,no luck.I heard the ambulance.


    -------------------------------------------
    I'll have to update it!!!BUMP!!!!
     
    #1 -_iBrooke_-, Jan 20, 2013
  2. There's always a space after punctuation. The details were short, and I don't know what you were trying to do. So you did the dirty? And then lost your memory? What? And why would there be someone knocking on your door if you were doing the dirty?! WHY DIDN'T YOU LOCK THE HOUSE AND WHY ARE THERE MEN IN SUITS GRABBING AT YOUR HANDS.

    Amfg waht
     
    #2 Goldialocks, Jan 20, 2013
  3. Excuse me?

    You know, I don't mind if you told me that I was being a little harsh, but did you really have to post on my wall and tell me that I was being 'mean' for criticizing your story? You're not perfect. This story isn't perfect. Don't act as if you can do without criticism, because in reality, none of us can. How do you know if you can progress without someone helping you?

    Okay, there. Rant over. ,_,
     
    #3 Goldialocks, Jan 20, 2013
  4. You truly are disgusting.
     
    #4 Goldialocks, Jan 21, 2013
  5. Stop rage quitting on my fucking wall and I might Goddamn consider it. :|
     
    #5 Goldialocks, Jan 22, 2013
  6. I have no pity. She's giving you criticism, so think about it.
     
    #6 DoneDeleted, Jan 22, 2013
  7. ^ did she post on your wall too ;n;
     
    #7 Goldialocks, Jan 22, 2013
  8. You really need to slow down and go into more detail -_- cos I really have no idea what our on about
     
    #8 Rookie13, Jan 30, 2013
  9. I am confused.








    Like...





    Really, really confused.


    I completely agree with Goldialocks.
    If you can't take some criticism why bother posting a story? People are either going to love or hate it.

    You didn't actually expect that everyone was going to like this story did you? Why can't you just be nice and say 'Thank you for the comment I will try to use them in my next update??

    Longer updates aswell?


    A bit of a rant.. Oh well. You got to know what you are doing wrong..
     
    #9 __-Pixiex-__, Jan 30, 2013
  10. She's trying to help, sweetie . She doesn't mean to be rude and critical!
     
    #10 iSassBendAndSnapToBreakNoses, Jan 30, 2013
  11. If you need an example of how to be more thurough with details read the first part of My Version of Fairy Tales I've been working on it and it might help :)
     
    #11 *Kristahh (01), Feb 3, 2013
  12. Here is an example of a good story.
     
    #12 iDontLikePeople2, Feb 3, 2013
  13. Lmao  Brooke? nice  But I know you can go into a little more detail.
     
    #13 Player11171305, Feb 4, 2013
  14. Bump
     
    #14 LilMissSnowy, May 12, 2013
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