No.......not now plse go away I thought knowing he could hear me.i knew he would arrive sooner or later in the month unfortunately,it was sooner.i had to come and u know it it's your time his voice was like thunder in my head soft but very incontrol.damon I don't fell ready! I Thought.he gave me a understanding look and then said outloud "so....I like the new deco when did u have it done?" "u are changing the topic Damon! Don't want to be bitten! " .m sorry he thought but it's time to make the connection .
No I thought but he had commpeled me to stay still and make no noise he moved my hair back from my neck and said"I'm sorry Jasmin but it's the only way I have to do this I'm hungry and we are eternal partners it's not my choice!".his wet lips kissed my neck then I felt his fangs against my throat then he bit me,at fist it was a white hot pain but then it felt like fi was drifting on a far away cloud. I felt the loos being sucked from my vein and he moaned and then he.....he...I woke up to a warm arm dripping liquid trickling into my mouth I opened my eyes to see his wrist bleeding into my mouth.nooooooo the vampire lover pledge was sealed.
Stop now please. Read a book and then read this. There is so many mistakes I can't even bother to list. So poorly written. /).<
Don't pull the sympathy act. .-. If you know you're dyslexic and there'll be a lot of errors, then get an editor or don't post. ._. Doesn't mean you can't do correct grammar though, or does it...?
Guys don't make fun of dyslexia or any other 'disability', it's not cool In my honest opinion this entire thing just lacks the potential to become a story. The plot is thin, character development is thinner. I'm not saying you weren't meant to be a writer, because every fucking body has the potential to be one. I think you just need practice and some story thinking before you try again. You should find someone to guide you, I guess. Good try though.
Dyslexia mainly affects words and spelling, not grammar.-. I know this because my friend is dyslexic and she reads three grades above her level. So if you really tried hard enough, you could have written this alot better.
I am aware of the disability. It doesn't give you an excuse to assume the person's reading level or telling her she could've. :| Just because you have a friend who reads three grades above her level and does have dyslexia, doesn't mean everyone else with it can. I have a classmate who is dyslexic and has trouble with sixth grade vocabulary, but nonetheless tries and improves with astounding progress. Come on guys, at least help. :c
I said that she should read a book to compare it to something, before I knew she was dyslexic. .-. And I was mainly saying that, because it lacks detail, character info, setting, background etc. Sorry.
What the hell happened? Sorry that wasn't direct to you. Those last two post I made were one post originally. You're first post split in-between my "two". I'm sorry if I offended you sexyvampiregirl and Chole But I promise you I didn't mean it's a negative way.
Ok, well I understand the dyslexia part but couldn't you turn spell check or something on? Just to sort of improve it?