My story

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by *Astaroth_The_Demon_King (01), Jan 6, 2013.

  1. It's good so far I'd give it a 7/10 
    Just fix the paragraphs and check the spelling and the mistakes you had and fix them 

    Riri
     
  2. I finally reached the dragons lair I walked in quietly not knowing what to expect.Well I see this giant dragon walking around a pile of gold I came to find out that his name was Ryder he was bribed to keep him from killing an well I was a stranger he ended up catching me an almost killed me luckly I had training in magic an was able to subdue the massive beast.He asked to be spaired I had not planed on killing him anyways so I let him go an he gave me the armor I seeked.The armor was made with dragon scale an was stronger than any other out there
     
  3. Once again you should leave spaces like and put more sentences  and fullstops. This is how I would have done it
    
    I finally reached the dragons lair, I walked in quietly not knowing what to expect. Suddenly I see this giant dragon walking around a pile of gold I came to find out that his name was Ryder. how do you know his name is Ryder? Explain more and more detail

    He was bribed to keep him from killing an well I was a stranger he ended up catching me an almost killed me. Luckily I had training in magic an was able to subdue the massive beast.

    He asked to be spare him. I had not planed on killing him anyways so I let him go an he gave me the armor. I seeked the armor was made with dragon scale an was stronger than any other out there.
     
  4. Ok,pretty good but 1)why am I evil and 2) dragon scale armour is as you said the strongest out there so how would you kill me anyway?
     
  5. Lol nvm kidding, great story
     
  6. Are you gonna carry on with this?