19 December, 2007 3 years. 3 bitter ****ing years. Yet nothings changed...I miss father, but when I consider it, could his death of been his own fault? It makes you think. I have a lot of time to think and debate. In case you didn't see the date, it's the 3 year mark since his death. I probably shouldn't focus on father to much... I know it's not considered to be healthy, but how am I meant to help it? Like I said, I've thought about it a lot. If I remember rightly, talking about things is meant to help. Writing will have to do for me.. I have a huge hole in my stomach; fit to burst with guilt. Every night my mind drifts back to that day... For 3 years I've had the same reoccuring dream. I'd be curled up in the couch whilst my father screamed, wrenching my heart out. Then I'd sob into the cushion as the screams died out. But that wasn't the only thing that died out....So did my father. My only hope in life...My so called hero. Each night I am forced to re cap my fathers' death. I despise sleep... I despise living, but my worst fear is death... I moved into a wood the other day. It occured to me it might actually be a good idea, considering how secluding the place looked, however everyone knows looks can be deceiving...At night the woods comes to life. Shadows dance; animals scratch and howl. You might think it's silly for me to be afraid. I mean, I'm only eleven yet I've faced some of lifes worst horrors, so why am I scared of a few little animals? It's simple really, like I said previously, I'm petrified of bugs... As I lay huddled against a tree trunk, It made me wonder what other eleven year olds may be doing. I pictured them playing games with friends and haveing fun with their families. I had a wierd feeling in my chest as I thought about this. It was strange. I barely feel emotions. Was I jealous? No, that's unlikely... I guess I'll work it out someday. Sorry, I'm rambling. That happens a lot now. I have no one to talk to, so I have to put my thoughts into this... Anyway, the animals are begining to start up. I better move...And quickly! Happy ****ing no father day. -Cade. -*-*-*-*- Not quite there yet, but he is getting madder. :L If you see this please advertise my story, I don't think people are reading it because it says it's a one-shot. But it isn't. So please advertise. New readers would be great.^.^
I didn't know you wrote fan fiction 0.0 WALL ME WHEN YOU UPDATE SO I CAN FOLLOW ALONG and I'm confused about the first one if you could answer my question in pm