This thought just came to me. Like right after I took a magical pill on the airplane ride to heal my headache and just looked out of the plane window, and went 'Goddamn look at dat ass'. Okay, slightly irrelevant, but you know that feel when Niki Minaj's ass pops out on your computer screen, and you topple over your chair you were sitting on, hit your head on an object that shouldn't be there, then snap out of your booty worship trance, get up your butt and stare at the (horrendous) music video playing, and then go 'hey lil mama lemme whisper in your ear', right? Because that was how I felt when that thought popped into my head. 'oh my god, punching your best friend in the boob establishes friendship' Okay, I lied, I didn't think that. I just thought it would be hilarious to (lightly) hit my friend in the chest and go 'I NOW DUB YOU <insert name here> THE EIGHTH. YOU HAVE BEEN BLESSED BY THE HOLY FIST OF CRYSTAL METH AND BOOZE. YOU MAY NOW KISS THE BRIDE.' and then have them stare at you like 'what the fuck' and then add in, YOU'RE WELCOME.' But that doesn't mean I'm going to go punch my best friend in the boob or anything, even if it's tempting as hell. And that wasn't even my major thought. One cannot think of just ONE brilliant plan while on a thirteen hour plane ride, one thinks of at least eighty of them before passing out on the floor and having people trample on your unconscious body before you land. I. Was. Going. TO GET MYSELF KICKED OUT OF THE AIRPORT. Close to that. Dancing gangnam style and then having your stepdad wheel you while you stand on a trolley isn't considered something bad, right? Because I think I did just that. I wasn't going to leave from a mind blowing vacation and not scar everyone at this airport, guys, I'm going to set up a record of fucking people's shit up. That started before the airplane ride, though, when I just walked up to an American and went 'Watashi wa anata no pantī o miru koto ga dekimasu ka?' (CAN I SEE YOUR UNDERWEAR?) You all know I'm a homestuck, right? And that one of favorite characters is a Japanese troll named Damara Megido? Because hahahahahahha I was watching this kick ass comic on tumblr and decided to try one of the dialogues out, and there you go. pleasedonthateme The American, I guess, just went 'can you please repeat that?' and I replied with 'ONEGAI' (please) and then he just stared at me and said 'sorry, I don't speak Chinese'. And let's all just take a moment here, because in France whenever I spoke Chinese people would either go '안녕하세요 (annyeonghaseyo)' or 'KONICHIWA'. Out of fourteen salespeople at the Eiffel Tower, only one got it right and said '你好嗎'. And I'm not a picky person, because I didn't expect him to bust out some asian skills and then converse with me in Cantonese, but DAMN. Out of fourteen salespeople, guys, holding baskets and eiffel tower statuettes, only one said 'hi' in Mandarin. But I really don't expect people to figure out my nationality in like five tries because I've had people call me a mix between Japanese and Korean, and then Vietnamese, and then Indonesian, AND THEN A FILIPINA, AND THENNNNNNNN A MIX BETWEEN MALAYSIAN AND TAIWANESE AND THENNNNNN GET CALLED CHINESE. What am I, some kind of asian cheese platter you go 'eenie meenie mini mo' to pick? Pff, okay I'm actually flattered I was called Japanese and everything else. But then an American thinks Japanese is Chinese and a European person is like vice versa and I can't help but think, 'DAYUMMMMMM GURL YOU NEED SOME ASIAN IN YO LIFE.' As for that American, I responded with 'DAME?!' (WHY NOT) and creeped away while going all And then gangnam style. You won't hate me, right? Because I had around a total of five kids walking up to me in France and going 'OPPA GANGNAM STYLE', including two at the airport and I just had to humor those adorable little babies *o* and then once my mom was done with the tax refund shit, we hopped back onto the trolley and rolled away. Aaaaaand it's 4:32AM and I will have to continue my airport adventures later in the morning. TOODLES, FOR NOW. There's just a 69% chance I might wake up and laugh at myself hysterically for all of this. Pffff fuck that it's europe ;o; WHOP.
G. My. Brain. Is. Confused. But yea. I spent yesterday in the airport. There was a man running with a taxidermy bird
I don't mean a jog. I mean a "HOLY FUCKING SHIT THE PLANE IS ON THE RUNWAY AND IM LATE AND THIS IS THE ONLY WAY MY BIRD CAN FLY!" Run
He has got a kind of gay name though.... Anthony (Antonio is his real name but everyone calls him Anthony or Ant but my nickname for him is Anthony. )