The Beauty Underneath

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by jacilu2, Dec 15, 2012.

  1. Flashback
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    I laid in the grass as night fell. There wasn't a moon, any stars, or street lamp lights. Most ten year olds would run to their mommies, but I was different. I wasn't afraid of the dark. I found it beautiful.
    As soon as all light left the Earth I could hear them, the voices. They spoke to me from the dark. I looked to the woods behind my house and saw the eyes. They were a piercing blue that bore into my soul. They beckoned to me to come to them, to join them in the dark.
    Usually my mother would drag me inside, but tonight was different. She couldn't move, couldn't see, couldn't hear, or even yell to me. I stood and slowly walked toward the eyes and expected to see a man or a woman. Instead, I saw a boy who seemed to be my age. His dark hair would have most likely glistened had there been any light.
    His hand was outstretched towards me. I could hear the voices urging me to take it, take the hand. I laid my hand gently in his and we were swallowed by the night.
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    I'm sorry about never finishing the secret circle I gave up on it
     
  2. Hey may
     
  3. jacilu2 Is having problems updating she will update tomorrow please be patient thank you
     
  4. UPDATE!!!!!
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    I woke to hear someone calling my name. I sat up groggily.
    "Claryyyyyy!"
    I recognized the voice. It was my friend Julie.
    "Clarissa Louise Fray! If ur not down here in 15 minutes we're gonna get detention!!!!!!"
    I slid slowly out of bed and walked to the bathroom. I glanced at the Phantom of the Opera calendar on the wall and looked at the date.
    'December 21st'
    I practically jumped out of my skin. Today was the last day of school before Christmas break! I practically ran into the bathroom as I grabbed my red v-neck sweater, black skirt, and fedora. I ran a brush through my hair and slipped on my black dress coat and flats. I grabbed a granola bar and my bag as I ran toward Julie's red Ferrari.
    I could glimpse my friend Matt running towards the car at the same time as me. There was no way I was letting him get the front seat. I put on a burst of speed and yelled, "I got shotgun!" He laughed.
    I jumped into the seat and stuck my tongue out at him as he banged on the window. Julie was starting the car.
    "Stop flirting Matt and get in the car!"
    His face was beet red. He gave Julie a deadly stare as we pulled away from the house. I'd lived with Julie for 5 years. I moved in with the Vanderbilts when I was 11 and they were kind enough to promise me a party for my 16th birthday next week.
    I looked back and saw a dark figure standing by the trees behind our house. He looked familiar but I didn't know why. I would soon find out.
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  5. Bravo. 
     
  6. Thx for the kind comments guys they really motivate me
     
  7. Its looking really good. 
     
  8. UPDATE!!!
    Flashback (13 years old)
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    I laid in the grass outside Julie's house. I watched as the sun was setting over the horizon. Just a few more minutes and I could be with him again. He always came on my birthday when the sky was pitch black and no stars shone. Nowadays, Mrs. Vanderbilt would call me in before he appeared. Tonight however was different, for she was sick. I watched the sun disappear below the horizon and saw him appear at the edge of the forest.
    I ran towards him out stretching my hand as someone grabbed me from behind. They held me against them pulling me back to the house. I could tell it was Matt by the way he smelled, chocolate and lemon. I looked to the boy at the edge of the woods and met his gaze. He had a look of pure hatred on his face. Probably for Matt since he dragged me away.
    I watched the boy turn as the door shut between us.
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    Srry it's short
     
  9. Oh yah first on pg 2
     
  10. I like it update its a cool story
     
  11. UPDATE
    Present day
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    I sat in my 8th period algebra 2 class doodling on my paper. All I could think about was tonight. I imagined taking the boy's hand and being swept away from all of this. Maybe he would let me stay this time instead of sending me to the orphanage. I set down my pencil and looked at what I had just created.
    It was a picture of a tall slender boy with dark hair. I had shaded his eyes to give them an eerie glow. I heard my name and snapped back to reality. I looked up towards the front of the room and almost fell out of my chair. Standing at the front of the room was the boy! His piercing eyes met mine and he walked towards me. He set his books on the empty seat next to mine. He grinned and I couldn't help but pinch myself hoping this wasn't a dream.
    His voice was smooth and sent a chill up my spine as he spoke. "Hello Clarissa," he held out his hand to me. "I don't believe we've properly met. I'm Toby."
    My breaths were ragged as I breathed in and out. I looked at him and smiled taking his hand. "It's nice to finally meet you."
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  12. Update I think its getting good make sure to explain things and use details
     
  13. Okay it may be awhile before I update cause I'm moving soon I will try to get on as soon as possible
     
  14. Ill try to update soon
     
  15. Iloveitiloveitiloveit! update soon please or I might die!!