Is my first time,so sorry if it is bad ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I woke up to the beeping of my alarm clock.I stood up and stretch lazily.I'm 5'5 and have black hair with black eyes.i took a quick shower and got into my police uniform. Unfortunately for me I'm the only female on the squad stink for me right? I check my watch is 6:59 f*ck I'm gonna be late. Running out the house I got into my car and speed off to my work. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Is short but there will be more does it stink?
Oh okay then ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I got to my work on time,but barely as I jog into the building. Praying he won't notice I try to cross his office. "Max get your butt in here now"my boss shouted "Yes,sir!"I mumbled trying hard not to groan as I go into his office. "you are late"he say slamming his fist on the desk "sir it was only by 2 sec" i say looking around not looking into his eyes "blah,blah,blah, u know u are on an hot spot since the accident during Crazy Murder"he say ~~flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~"who is there?!?!" I shout pointing the gun into the dark hallway.I feel panic as I slowly walk down the hall.Suddenly I heard rustling behind me, not waiting for anything I spring around and shoot it. "ahhhhhhh!!!!!" it shout holding it chest in pain. "holy, is it u Kyle?" I whisper kneeling down infront of him.He look at me before passing out into my arm. "****"I mumbled as I call the ambulance.Then I wait for 30 min before they got him out of my arm and rush him to hospital. ~~End of Flashback~ "Max?!?!"my boss shouted "Yes, sir?!?!"I say shaking my head a few time "Get your butt out of my office now and I have a new crime to solve with Detective Char." "Yes sir!!" I shout walking quickly out the office glad to be away from him.I walk into my office to find a man about my age viewing the files in my cabinet. "You must be Detective Char?" I mumbled feeling a little strange. "Yes and u must be Officer Max?" he say extending out his hand. "Nice to meet u sir"I say shaking his hand.Then I feel electricity rush through me at the touch.Blushing I took my hand back and sit down on my chair.He look away pretending to view something.Have he feel the..... Electricity too? "*cough*cough,let's view our case shall we?"I whisper opening the new file on my desk. "Let's"he say and start viewing the papers.Looking through the murder has murder 4 victim so far and they are all girls.There were no sexual assault though,but on their back "Rest in Peace" is carve.The victim are all found wash up on the beach.They were all kill before they were put into the water.Hmm.... Seem like they all have black hair..... "Officer Max do u notice what I notice?"Char say looking at me "I think so..."I murmur looking at him. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Okay this is going to help you - always remember to spell check - try to use transition words - be more descriptive without listing - when someone is talking in your story use " " - bad words make people who are writing seem immature so I suggest you don't use them - remember to always upper case your I's and the beginning letter of each word that starts a new sent ace - make the plot more interesting because no offense this is somewhat dull
I will try to improve ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "well I better get home now time for thinking time"he murmur standing up. "Now? Lucky u I better get on my duty now" I whisper slamming the cap on my head. "bye....?"he says looking at me. I wave at him before walking out the room and the building.Luckily my boss was busy,so he didn't get a chance to yell at me.I got into my car and start sneaking around for some speeding car.Then a car speed by infront of me, quickly I turn the lights on and chase the car.It lead me into the bad part of town,but I fail to notice since I was so engross in chasing it down.Finally I got it trap down at the closed ally.I got out the car and taking out my gun. "Come out of the car" I shout aiming my gun at the person head.Then I feel a little pain in my neck,craning my head I see the tiny needle in my neck.Feeling dizzy,I sit down on the floor and see bunch of gangster hovering over me before passing out.............. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~