ヾ(＠⌒ー⌒＠)ノ Hewwo! It's mwa! Elle! >.< So here be a place where me going to post funny cartoons and short stories....I hopes you enjoy! Also, yousy can post things here as well....O.O just as long as it's not something dirty or mean or evil or bad or.....*shivers* yea you get it....OKIE! Moving on! >.<
(￣ー￣) ...... (￣ー￣) ...inner peace... (￣ー￣) ...inne- *crunch munch* (￣ー￣) ........*crunch crunch munch* (￣^￣)ゞ would whoever is making that infernal noise STOP?!!? .....*silence*..... (⌒▽⌒) ah...now, back to my meditation.... (￣ー￣) ...inner peace... (￣ー￣) ....inner pea-*CRUNCH chomp* ！(◎_◎ Would you stop it?!? I am trying to attain inner peace!!!! ヾ(＠⌒ー⌒＠)ノhey! That's cool! I just found out how to attain in we peace! (￣ー￣) ....really.... ヾ(＠⌒ー⌒＠)ノyep! Care to join me? ........2 hours later........ /(//∇//)/\(//∇//)\ *munch munch* \(//∇//)\ yes the way to inner peace is through filling the ever-empty hole of a pit in the human body... /(//∇//)/ you mean the tummy? \(//∇//)\ yes! The tummy! /(//∇//)/\(//∇//)\ *giggle giggle* -END- (((o(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)o))) zZzZzZ...*dreaming* ！(◎_◎ *POUNCE* ((((；ﾟДﾟ))))))) *panicking* Whaaa! Wh-what? WHERE'S THE GIANT MEATBALL????? ヾ(＠⌒ー⌒＠)ノheh silly! It's just me! (⌒▽⌒) your adorable little sister! ((((；ﾟДﾟ))))))) ...adorable ball of iron is more like it..... *PUNCH* ERROR! The next few scenes have been cut do to the intense violence and bloodshed that occurs..... ........30 minutes later..... (( _ _ ))..zzzZZ (⌒▽⌒) aww bro how come your face is covered beneath the blankets? ((((；ﾟДﾟ))))))) ....because you friggin punched me SO DAMN HARD that my front teeth fell out! (⌒▽⌒) *giggles* aw come on! You must be joking... ((((；ﾟДﾟ))))))) I'm serious!!!! *shows teeth* ！(◎_◎ ...... ((((；ﾟДﾟ))))))) what....hey Sis? Say something... ！(◎_◎ ...... ((((；ﾟДﾟ))))))) ..... ！(◎_◎ ............... ((((；ﾟДﾟ))))))) ............. ！(◎_◎ .....pff.... ((((；ﾟДﾟ))))))) huh? ！(◎_◎ ...pfft... ((((；ﾟДﾟ))))))) what? ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ AHAHAHAHHAH! ((((；ﾟДﾟ))))))) ....... ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ *laughing so hard she can't breathe* haha...bro...you..l-look...like..haha...like hell.....HAHAHAH! (T . T) ..... ( T_T)＼(^-^ ) *pats* don't worry! At least your girlfriend still loves you! ....3 hours later... ！(◎_◎OMG! That's disgusting! Never talk to me again! You look like shit!!!!! *runs off* （・◇・)/ ~~~~ (ToT)/ ~~~ (´Д` ) NUUUUUUU!!!! Why is this happening to me?!!??? NUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!! ！(◎_◎ *BOING (eyes spring open)* (T . T) ...holy shit I had the weirdest and worst dream ever.... (⌒▽⌒) BOO! ((((；ﾟДﾟ))))))) AHHHHHH! ヾ(＠⌒ー⌒＠)ノheh silly it's just me! (⌒▽⌒) your adorable little sister! ((((；ﾟДﾟ))))))) .......oh god no.... (⌒▽⌒) hehe... *PUNCH* -End- The meaning of "bioweapon": (⌒▽⌒) Hey wassup bro? ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ Wazzup! ！(◎_◎ ....*sniff sniff* ε=ε=ε=ε=ε=ε=┌(;￣◇￣)┘ I gtg! Bye! （・◇・）/~~~ what wrong with him? (￣^￣)ゞ *sniff sniff* (ToT)/~~~ ....oh.....*lonely wind scene* THE POWER OF HUMAN ODOR! Buy•••••Nowwhileyoustillcan!Getitfreeifyouorderwithinthenextfewminutes.Callnow! *all said in a really fast TV ad voice* (ToT)/~~~ <----Forever Alone *whoosh* -END-
Jokes: 0 to 200 in 6 seconds Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday. 2. A Really Bad Day There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." "No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away." "I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison." 3. From A Mother With Love Dear Child, I am writing this slow because I know that you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address, as the last family that lived here took the house numbers when they left so that they wouldn't have to change their address. This place is real nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure if it works too well though. Last week I put a load in, pulled the chain, and haven't seen them since. The weather isn't too bad here., it only rained twice last week, The first time it rained for three days and the second time for four days. The coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Steve said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. We got another bill from the funeral home. They said if we don't make the last payment on Grandma's grave, up she comes. John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were worried because it took him two hours to get me and Shelby out. Your sister had a baby this morning but I haven't found out what it is yet, so I don't know if you're an aunt or an uncle. If the baby is a girl, your sister is going to name it after me, she's going to call it Mom. Uncle Pete fell in a whiskey vat last week. Some man tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated and he burned for three days. Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck. Ralph was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your two friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down. There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened. PS, I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already sealed. 4. Two cannibals meet one day. The first cannibal says, "You know, I just can't seem to get a tender missionary. I've baked 'em, I've roasted 'em, I've stewed 'em, I've barbequed 'em, I've even tried every sort of marinade. I just cannot seem to get them tender." The second cannibal asks, "What kind of missionary do you use?" The other replied, "You know, the ones that hang out at that place at the bend of the river. They have those brown cloaks with a rope around the waist and their sort of bald on top with a funny ring of hair on their heads." "Ah ha!" he replies. "No wonder.. those are friars!" 5. Assassin Interview fter all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists for the CIA assasin position — two men and one woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. You have to kill her." The first man said. "You can’t be serious. I could never shoot my wife." The agent replies, "Then you’re not the right man for this job." The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the agent came out with tears in his eyes. "I tried, but I can’t kill my wife." The agent replies "You don’t have what it takes. Take your wife and go home." Finally, it was the woman’s turn. Only she was told to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, "You guys didn’t tell me the gun was loaded with blanks. So I had to beat him to death with the chair." Riddles: 1. There is a blue single-storey house. The sofa is blue, the walls are blue, the floor is blue and the ceiling is blue. What is the color of the stairs? 2. I always point in the right direction. My instructions are written in black and white. Disobey me and pay the consequences. I will never say more than two words at a time. What am I? 3. What is higher without a head than with a head? Can't figure it out? Try harder! STILL can't figure it out? Scroll alllll the way down! Answers: 1. It's a one story building silly! What stairs? 2. A "One Way" sign! 3. A pillow!