The Awkwardness of my sister

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by *SkrilleX-ReMix-PlaYer-42 (01), Nov 21, 2012.

  1. This Is A Made Up story Please Be Truthful And Tell Me What You Think Of It

    ~~~~~~~~~~~
    Im sitting there squirming in my seat as i sit there watching my younger sister have a tounge war with her girlfriend it was how to put it disturbing but erotic all at the same time but the reason im here at all is because of my sister she's still only 16 and im 18 its my birthday tomorrow she thought she would be nice and shout me a few drinks which didn't happen because she can't buy them anyway so she sitting there with her girlfriend playing tounge tiggy as i sit and watch silently
    Im sighting next to Amber my sister girlfriend her long black hair slowly curled down to her waist with her bright green eyes ever so often quickly glancing at me she's a beautiful young girl and be body is very arousing she's a bisexual on the other hand is my sister her short curly blond hair with pink highlight and her soft and trusting grey eyes closed in the moment she's a bisexual aswell her body is stunning aswell she's a runner for our school she's one two trophies for our school
    I slightly jump and quickly move my hand over to my croch and could not believe what my sisters girlfriend was doing she had he hand on my croch slowly moving it up and down i was surprised at first but revised quickly i was getting erect over this we were at a very sluty bar where I've seen allsorts of things happen
    Amber kept her hand on my croch but said softly to my sister Alice "Lets go to a hotel for the night" the continued to whispers but i could quite make it out over the music
    We soon left and headed to my small apartment as the revised they are still underage to hire a hotel room and my sister already planned to stay with me so i let Amber come aswell
    ~~~~~~~~~~~
    Thats it for now hope you enjoy it but what do you think will happen
     
  2. First of all... This plot is inappropriate and terrible. Secondly, your grammatical skills are that of a first grader. Thirdly, the lack of any punctuation makes my eyes hurt. And lastly, nothing will happen because this story is horrible.
     
  3. Capitalize your I's please..
     
  4. Agreeing with Adam also what is with the overuse of the word aswell and may I say it's as well.
     
  5. H O R R I B L E....BAD EVERYTHING...CRAPPY......S T O P......THIS STORY NOW!!!!!
     
  6. Update Im interested to know what happens in the end
     
  7. No other words to describe it other than awful.
     
  8. Why are you calling it awful what's wrong with it?
     
  9. But Adam hates moats story's
     
  10. I'm not surprised he hates this.
     
  11. @Adam the plot won't go were you think it never was going to
    @la other i am sorry i forgot punctuation i will fix it up in my next post
    @sexxypants thank you
     
  12. No, just no
     
  13. Just the content is unnecessary. Just stop the story. These people already want you out.
     
  14. Adam
     
  15. Yes Troll its FF i may post what i like when i like about anything and what is so bad about to girls kissing and a girls brother
     
  16. Read a proper book then read this. .-.

    Then stop writing completely. Look up how to write on the Internet or something, it should have the basics. This sounds like something a high/ drunken idiot would have wrote.

    (I'm in a harsh mood. Get over it. ._.)
     
  17. i have read a lit of books trust me im surprised you even can
     
  18. Guys isn't it obvious? He has a dream journal, had a wet dream, wrote it down in his dream journal and felt the need to share it