Well, I did promise.. ;P ~~~~~~~~ Marie's POV ~~~~~~~~ After Lily and I packed our things, we headed to the front entryway. I worried about money. While I had a fair amount that had accumulated over the years, I knew it would not last very long. Also, we needed to be quiet. What would happen if Phillip found us? I shuddered to think what he would do to Lily. Lily. Her and I needed to leave this place for her safety. While I was anxious in leaving Phillip after so many years, I knew it had to be done. My resolve was solid as I thought of Lily and her many years of suffering. We would have to walk to town from here to find a cab. I was surprised to see Harold, Phillip's personal driver, waiting for us at the entryway. "Are you ready, ma'am?" He inquired. "How did you..." Lily stopped in her tracks at the sight of him. "Lily, dear, you're smarter than that!" Phillip reprimanded her, "I called him, of course." I was shocked at his manner of speaking. Why was he so jovial? After the fight an hour prior, he should still be angry. "Phillip-" I started to question him. He interrupted me, "Marie, you will need to take good care of Lily from now on. I can no longer stand by and assist in raising her." What was he implying of me? I had always taken care of Lily, unlike him. "Phillip, what is the meaning of this?" I stiffly asked. "Dear woman, why are you upset?" He retorted, confused, "You know the situation! You must escape with Lily into safety!" "What situation? Where are you sending us?" "Marie, have you been drinking? This is hardly the time, Love! You know what is going on with that boy." He dared to ask me whether I was drunk? After what he had done to Lily and I while drinking? My anger flared. I started to retort to him, when he suddenly pressed his lips to mine. I had not noticed him approaching me. I began to resist, but found that I could not. It had been so long. Had he finally changed? I was in the arms of the man I loved for so many years. But then, Phillip swayed and exhaled into my mouth. I tasted strong, rich alcohol in it. He was drunk. He would not remember any of this later. I pushed him away, and he fell in a heap to the floor, unconscious. He had been knocked out cold by the alcohol. I knelt by him. Should I still leave? I was saddened at the prospect. What if he changed when he woke up? What if he became kind once more? Alas, my thinking was only wistful. Phillip stirred in his alcoholic slumber, muttering, "Stupid bitch..." I knew he was thinking of either Lily or myself. I stood, straightening my skirts. "Well, then." I huffed. It was time to go. As I left the mansion, Harold asked me, "Ready, ma'am?" My resolve was solid once more. "Yes." I spoke to him firmly. We set off for our destination.
...isn't this technically kidnapping? Well, how old is the girl? I'm assuming the maid has no family relations...the father seems like the kind of man that would simply fire her. Some of you do have terrible grammar, not many, but some. I suggest you proofread. I applaud you all for being able to work together.
Quinny, no. In the end she wasn't kidnapped because she went by choice. Also, the dad gave permission. And who made grammatical errors? How can it be improved??
Quinny, if you read back a little you will see that lily was the one who suggested the leaving, lily is running away.
By the story, or because my writing is confusing?? The fact in the story is that the maid loves the dad, Phillip. When Carol left him, he became abusive. Lily recently turned 16 in the story. When he started beating her, it was the last straw. Lily and the maid were leaving, but the dad appeared. He was drunk, and acting nice for the first time in a while. ...By the end of my update, Phillip basically told them to leave. Even though he kissed her, the maid knows he is still a jerk. So, they left.
Okay, nevermind >.> 1. when Phillip randomly starts talking, he was around the corner, waiting for them 2. Harold and Lily left to carry the bags while Phillip and Marie were talking. I am so sorry D: It was deleted before, but I guess I missed some parts
He could say it's kidnapping. He was drunk, after all. I'd say it's more like simple things that accumulate, a misspelled word, incorrect punctuation, missing punctuation, proper spacing for quotations, proofread ing can help, especially since there's so many people working on it. Thank you for clearing the age up. You both also misspelled my name, thought that was kind of funny xD.
Please stay off my thread I have no prob with criticism but if u don't understand/like the story or agree with the way it is written let me give u advice DON'T READ IT!
Just to clear a few things up (Need it to make sense on update I'm writing.) is Marie and Philip speaking in the garden or house?
Kk...Damn. D: If the update i'm writingconfuses anyone...he fell and rolled in his sleep. XD (Btw, anyone know how to turn auto correct on?)
Father (Philip) P.O.V *** My vision blurred as I pryed open my bloodshot eyes; a headache soon arriving with a vengeance too. I slowly stood up and looked around...I was used to passing out from alcahol, but I had never woken up in the garden before... "Strange," I mused, curiously. "Usually I wake up in my bedroom..." I heaved my strong build of the carpet of grass, feeling uncomfortable still. My head throbbed, as though an army was at battle inside it, but I still looked around. I was at the front of my grand house, next to the ajar front door. I must have passed out on the steps and rolled down, I thought to myself. I felt a tear hit the drop of my pink head, then another. "Great, rain." I mumbled before making my way into the open house, slamming the door behind himself. I rubbed my head and groaned at the noise. I was always groggy and idiotic when I had a hangover, however the main hangover reaction was cruelty. "Lily!" I yelled up the magnificent flights of stairs. I couldn't remember anything from yesterday, but I did remember it had something to do with Lily and Marie... I scowled and marched into the living room, annoyed at the silence. She must be playing with Marie again...that Marie was a bad influence, I thought to myself.She did her job well at least, and she had nice hair...I froze in my seat. "Must be the alcahol effects." I mumbled to myself disbelieving.Mary was annoying and a waste of space, right...? After a few minutes of debating, I rembered what I was doing.I frowned feeling something wasn't quite right. Lily hadn't took this long before...I sighed and gripped my belt. That **** would pay for making me wait. I went up the enchanting stair case, my head held high. A sense of authority about me. As if I were the most important person, as if I were the boss. I smirked, holding the belt. The boss. I loved too be the one in charge...I was the boss.I was the best person out there. I looked good and knew everything. Well, not everything... I certainly didn't expect to find Lily's room empty, leaving behind only a stained simple note saying she had gone. *** Sorry it's short and the spellings aren't that good. Bit rushed. D: