Shattered wings part -1

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by *LilBeast729 (01), Nov 8, 2012.

  1. I woke up. My back sore, him on the ground across from me. Motionless. I scream his name over and over. "Alex? ALEX!" he doesn't move. I try to fly to him. I jump up, but fall right back down. I look at my back. My wings, are gone. I look behind me, there's a bunch of glass pieces. My wings are shattered.


    How was it?! Either put it on my wall or on here! Thanks!
     
  2. Fan fiction.
     
  3. Great it was great
     
  4. Needs more dragons
     
  5. I'm not saying I don't like it. It's just in the wrong topic. Unless of course, you're using it figuratively.
     
  6. Why the hell were the wings glass in the first place? :roll;
     
  7. :roll: * fail
     
  8. Needs more OOMPH...

    Maybe some Jedi Narwhals
     
  9. Best idea ever.
     
  10. Nowim nota fanfictionist or anything but it was WAY too short, and the mood didn't fit the targeted mood. Try using more sensory details, describe where they are, the emotions the POV is feeling, that sort of thing
     
  11. ._. Only badasses like myself write stories in off-topic. Go to fan-fiction for stories.
     
  12. This belongs in Fan Fiction... Unless it's a oneshot and you want to show it to more people then I guess it's fine, but it's incredibly short.
     
  13. Please shift this to fan fiction section next time. I'll be happy to read it there. Thanks