New Story!! Hope you like it!! Dax's POV I pulled up into my usual spot in the student parking lot, the best space any student was ever issued. It was right next to the covered walkway, meaning that when it rained, I stayed completely dry. It was the first day of my senior year. I ruled CCHS, and all of Grove Hill. The old people loved me, I had all the parents fooled , the teens all loved me (except for those awkward outcasts, because I felt the same way about them), and the little boys wanted to be me (mainly because I dominated in the field every Friday night). I could have anything I wanted. I already had a Nick Saban coming to the last game of the season, which meant I had to play my best. Playing for Alabama meant the world to me, and there was no way I was going to throw away my one and only chance. I also had my mind set on getting Maggie Cox to be my arm candy for the year. She was tall, blonde, with blue eyes. She was the cheer and soccer captain, she also dominated on the hardwood. She was every guy's target, but only one guy could have her. That guy was me. I walked into the school. I went straight to my locker, it was inbetween the vending machines and the girl's bathroom, which meant it was the most coveted locker in the school. I saw Maggie immediately. I smiled and she walked up to me. "Hey D" she said I looked at her, "Hey Mags" She opened her locker, two away from mine. Then it happened. A tan brown headed guy walked to the locker right in between us "Hello Maggie," he said in a thick Italian accent "Hi Tanner," she smiled as sh e said this. My blood boiled "Oh I'm being super rude, Dax this is Tanner, Tanner this is Dax," Maggie introduced us. "Hello Dax" Tanner said. I looked at him, "Hi." "Tanner is a foreign exchange student from Italy, he's staying the semester with my family and me." she informed Dax nodded, "Cool." "D, you, uh, wouldn't mind being helpful and show him around would you?" she asked me. I felt as if I had to be nice if I wanted to get her, "Of course I'll show him around." "Thanks," she said and walked off to her first block class. "How hot is she?" Tanner asked him, his eyes darting down to her butt as she walked off. "Excuse me?" I was shocked. He seemed to be nice and friendly and crap just a minute ago. "They only reason I chose her family was because I got to see what the family's looked like. I made an awesome choice. I'm just hoping I can score with her." I slammed my locker and he jumped a little. Nobody talked about her like that except me. I thought he could tell exactly what I was thinking. "Relax," he said, "I'll be gone in a semester." He muttered under his breath, "Just long enough to do some damage..." Dax started walking. He turned around to look at Tanner, "Ya coming?" Tanner caught up with him, looking at every girl that he passed. I couldn't stand it. This guy was gonna get hurt sooner or later.
Like your "Dax started walking." sentence. Shouldn't it be written as "I started walking." since you have been writing it as "I" from the start?