my short story

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by preppyinpink, Nov 4, 2012.

  1. I'm not ferry good antis I'm an artist it's my passion but I'm trying a little writing coz I'm bored I'm not soo good antitrust I find it more fun to write slightly depressive inks so here goes feel free to express any opinions I don't mind.
    she awoke to find the disaster she has been engulfed in was no dream. What happened was a horrific travesty entwined and woven in death pain and travesty.
    Laying limp frigid was the corpse of her disgusting husbands betrayal in the form of his lover, her face covered in deep blood drenched cuts and bruises disguising any dignity she had before the tragic betrayal. Her mangled body reeked of pain sorrow yet no guilt or remorse was felt by the newly formed widow for what she had done her heart like ice cold and bitter.
    As she walked throug the hell hole that was once a home she sailed through a sea of blood she came across the unrecognisable body of her ex the one she once had fallen for and planned to spend the rest of her life with happily.
    His naked body lay down on the floor his face hacked at and his body spread in parts across the room.
    She broke down in a fit of teArs streaming down her depressed panicked face as she yelled realising what she had done what she had become all she loved had gone all her aspirations had no purpose anymore she had taken the life of another human another soul no matter how twisted. Soul is no body could do. Something this disturbing and vile.... Well that's what she thought now her sould was torn into shreds and as the siren yelped and the doorbell rang she laughed as she grabbed the gun put it to her frale skull and relieved all the pain she had yet to come And with one single bulled her life was over but e pain was still entangled in their families and the broken sould still lurk in inhabitable house Wich is nothing but evidence no home no love ....... No life ....not any more....
     
  2. Urrrrmi know it's bad but I wasn't majourlytryig and didn't check it through plus I stayed up all night with my fiancée so it's the best ican do at this moment in time.....
    It's not my job to write but it's enjoyable
     
  3. A little tip from a fellow writer, it helps the reader when you space paragraphs. 
     
  4. Yeah sorry about that it's on the I Padang it keeps freezing when I press the space button because it got some water in the I pad so I use the enter button* not space Soz as little as possible but thx what about the story?
     
  5. That story was amazing!! & kinda sad to:(
     
  6. Short, fuck this TL;DR