Ok this is really good. I love it. The hook is gooood. And the plot, I just can't help but wonder what is up with the 4th finger on the left hand. Don't forget to capitalize the first letter!! BUMP UPDATE
Update I picked up the phone, "hello?" "Hi Jim, this is Tom have you heard of the recent murders yet?" Tom was my old neighbor and has was of getting information he shouldn't have including what he was talking about. "Yes," I replied I just watched the news and heard about the one who drowned." "Im not talking about that one, I mean the woman who nails through her body and found attached to a phone line along route 7." "No I didn't!" I responded shocked. "When did that happen?" "Oh about 40minutes ago, I thought you'd be the first to know. Anyways I gota run talk to you soon man" "Alright bye Tom thanks for the info. talk to you soon." As soon as I hung up, the phone rang again almost instantly. "Jim, there has been another murder. How soon can you get here? We're on route 7, about a mile past the sub shop." "Alright, I'll be there soon chief." He hung up and I grabbed my things, ran out to my car, and headed to the scene. I guess vacation is over I chuckled.
Update As I drove to the crime scene, I replayed the murders in my head and counted the number, 9 so far. I passed the sub shop and started searching for the all to familiar flashing lights. I finally saw them about a mile and a half from the shop, and started to slow and pulled in behind a police car. I got out and almost immediately the chief was there. "Hey Jim, thanks for coming. We're waiting for the lift to get here so we can get the body down." "That's okay chief, I'd like to see the body how it was found." "Alright, follow me." we started to walking to the body and as we did he began telling me how it was found. "We got the call at 9:43, the kid on the phone sounded so scared, she kept on repeating Your Move. What does that mean? anyways it took some convincing and we showed up a little while later to this." we reached the body by now and he pointed up. "So we sent her home and started to get stuff to get the body down." "She said Your Move? "Yes, do you know what that means?" "Not yet, but let's try to find out" I replied. I knew what the message meant, but I didn't want to bring up the phone call yet. We stood at the base of the poll and looked up. "Do you have a flashlight?" I asked. "No give me a minute." I NEED A FLASHLIGHT!" he shouted, and a another officer ran over and handed him one who in turn handed it to me. "Thanks" I replied as I turned it on and pointed it on the body, almost immediately the source of Your Move became clear.
I would appreciate if anyone who actually red would post something it feels like no one does and it's tempting to just stop the story here
OMG I know exactly how that feels it sucks but hey as long as ur story gets out there and out of ur head