Another update! Already?! We got to school and I was the first one out the car. I stood in front of the car scanning the crowd for my extra loud friends. Then I spotted my Best friends Veronica and Therese joking around with my friend Tate. They looked over when they heard car doors slam shut. Veronica ran towards me and hugged me tight. "Em!" She said "Haha hey V" I replied "Ahem! V its my turn!" Therese said with a chuckle I hugged therese and we walked off to our lockers. I met these two crazy chicks my freshman year. I was amazed that our lockers were right next to each other. "Why was Ashleen in the front this morning." Therese asked "Karl picked her up before me cuz she needed a ride. Her car supposedly wouldnt start so she called him. She's riding with me and him all week." I said with a sigh Us 3 walked off to our English class. I felt someone grab my hat and another person hug me. I balled up my fist ready to hit someone when i noticed it was Tate and Karl. Tate had taken my hat and karl had hugged me. "My hat now!" Tate said and ran off to class. I sighed. Karl had me leaning against the wall. Therese and Veronica had left us alone. "Whats wrong?" He asked "Nothing." I said and looked away "No babe something is bothering you." He told me "Its nothing. Really." I said "You didnt even wait for me when we got here you just left." He said and looked down. "Im sorry." I looked down also. I heard footsteps and looked up. It was Ashleen. She was walking towards us. Karl looked over and waved. He looked back at me. I sucked my teeth and pushed my way through him. I noticed she had hugged him like i down. Pulling him close and wrapping her arms around his neck. A tear fell. I looked back and seen him hug her like he only hugs me. By the waist. "What the hell." I thought. I got to class and they arrived right after me. Ashleen was giving me the snobby glare. I rolled my eyes and kept working. Veronica looked at me and seen I was crying a little. She stood up. I looked at her. Thats when i knew she was gonna hurt someone. But who? V! NO KILLING PEOPLE!
OMG IM GONNA KICK SOMEONE'S ASS HELL YEA THAT SOUNDS BOUT RIGHT NOBODY MAKES MY MAY CRYahem btw I'm V fo all of those that don't kno me
HERE'S ANOTHER UPDATE! I REALLY LOVE THIS STORY! HOPE YU GUYS LOVE IT TOO I watched Veronica as she walked across the room. I was confused. Then I saw her walk over to Ashleen's desk and push it over. Our english teacher, Mrs. Patterson, told Veronica to sit down but she didnt listen. "Get up Ashleen!!" Veronica yelled in anger. "Why should i?" Ashleen asked with major sarcasm. "Because you made my friend cry! NOW GET UP!" Veronica yelled again "Well your friend should say something." Ashleen replied and looked at me. I just smirked, watching what was about to happen. Veronica balled up her fist and punched Ashleen in the nose. "OH MY GOD! V!!" I yelled Ashleen was on the floor holding her nose. She stood up wiped the blood off with her sleeve, slapping Veronica across the face. "You little snobby witch!" Veronica yelled Veronica had grabbed Ashleen by her hair and smashed her face into the wall. Then Veronica turned Ashleen to face her. She was punching her in the face non-stop. "V! NO DONT KILL ANYONE!" I screamed I jumped up and tried to pull Veronica off of her. Tate helped along with Karl and Therese. We finally got her off. But Veronica had managed to pull alittle bit of her hair off. Ashleens little friend, Annie, was such a sweetheart. She held Ashleen back and apologized to all of us about what just happened. "IM SO SORRY!" Annie tried to yell over Veronica and Ashleen. The vice principal came in and dragged Ashleen and Veronica out by the arm. We all stood there in silence. I looked at Karl and he just shook his head and sat down. I looked down and sat in my seat. The day had passed. "What happened with V?" I thought. I was worried she got suspended or expelled. V YUR SO OVER PROTECTIVE
There a quite a lot of grammatical errors. You need to proof-read. Plus, when someone is thinking, you don't need talking marks. Also when only two people are having a conversation, you don't need to keep stating who's saying what. 'He yelled, I asked, I replied.' No. You don't need all that. Other then that, the story is annoying clique.
thank yu for yur criticism.... would i take it in account no... cuz people like my story... If its an annoying clique then dont read it.... Thats all
It's only there to help you improve your story, make it better. It wasn't a compliment. You're what's wrong with FF, not being able to take criticism.
U know I would've thrown her off a cliff and under a truck I would've done a lot worsenobody messes with my may