Flashbackyour waiting outside in the back waiting for mb and c there bus so all the other fans run into the bus and you/fallon try running then fall and hurt your knee and its bleeding) then a guy comes behind you and asks you if your ok and you say yea and he saus are u sure and then u say yea then he puts his hand out and you grab it and then he helps you stand up and see,roc royal and he says please dont scream then you say /whisper I wont and smile then fall agian (tbc)/to be conituied
Whaaat? No periods, no grammar, I did not understand one word of it. I'm not trying to be mean, but please check over it next time.
No offence but this is awful.Im not even going to go into it.If you want I'll give you some tips about writing.. (My stories aren't great, but there alright.)
Yes, but there's a heck of a lot of things you need to do more than that...No offence but writing simple sentences with full stops Is what you learn when you first start school...
Well then your story is going to fail. I'm going to give you the same story but written how you won't. I won't use paragraphs as that's unfair, but hopefully it'll show you how to improve. (Won't be that good as I don't get your story.)