Update ************** I have been calling her and shes been replying its cool and we are happy we meet up after school and weekends but todays for me i was getting my hair dyed. I have this friend and hes an awsome hairdreser and he did my hair for free im getting dark blue hair with light blue highlights and it looks amazing. When i got home i was texting my old crush and she said she had a huge secret and she told me she was a bisexuall i was fine with it but her parents wouldnt be. Soon she told me she had a crush on me and a girl from school and her name is holly the only problem was i liked holly aswell so i decided to ask her something that will either end up good or bad. ********* i will tell you what i ask next time ok
Hmm... It's good Skrillex, but you should try to do less run on sentences. You have good descriptions and a good story try to do longer updates and leave us at a cliffhanger, more eager for updates that way keep up the writing hun
Thanks and it was midnite in australia when i wrote it so i was tierd i will do a longer one nwxt time
I will be very nice here, the nicest I've been about critiquing. 1. No plot. 2. Bad spelling and grammar. 3. Ever heard of spellcheck? 4. It's just not...written well. 5. The character...it's hard to even tell if it's a guy or girl honestly. 6. HOW DO YOU READ THIS!?
Adam being a meanie I figured it out lmao even if it is confusing I was super nice about it tho
You need to get this edited, there is a ton of spelling mistakes, grammar mistakes and it feels like you're speaking to the readers in monotone (well, no exactly speaking .-. but I have no idea what to call it) You need to learn to use your punctuation and get an actual plot. Keep writing, you'll only get better.