I was always the shy goodie two shoes kid and (according to everyone else) always will be. I fit the description perfectly if you think about it. I have a dirty blonde color hair and it's long and curly with turquoise highlights. I have a tan skin and a heart shaped face. I have turquoise eyes(i know same as the highlights why do you think they're that color?). I love to draw and I love animals and anything blue. I also am a straight A student and do well on being on time to all of my classes. I try to cover my face and avoid any eye contact with anyone. I have absolutely no friends I mean why should I when all they are going to do is stab me in the back?( not literally) As I walk down the hallways I keep my head down hearing everyone yell" look here comes the shy girl" and start laughing and pointing at me. I didn't see why though it was a pretty stupid thing to say. Apperantly no one felt the same way about it. Every day I would have someone try to talk to me but all I would do is say"whatever" and walk away as fast as possible.Even in class when teachers would be talking that's what would happen but I didn't care because my life has always been like this. Why should I care anyways? They are always going to do this so it doesn't matter. As I am getting away from my locker to go home someone pushes me and I fall and drop all of my stuff on the ground. I hear laughter and quickly gather my things up. I hear someone say"You need a hand?" and a hand appears right in front of my face . "No thanks" I mumble and get up and walk off and hear whoever it was yell"Hey! Wait up!" I start walking faster and faster until I was almost running. Then I hit something and quickly fall over hitting something else. My arm was in terrible pain and had heard a loud crack when I fell. I guess that's probally not good. "Are you ok?!?" I hear whoever it was yell . I say there holding on to my arm and didn't anwser. I heard someone running and they were getting closer and closer. I had to do something or else they would try to talk to me. I couldn't think of anything though and someone was already beside me. I look over and see it is a boy and I try to get up and couldn't . He had green eyes and blonde hair. That was all I could see before he said"Hang on I will call the ambulance to come and get you your arm looks pretty bad" I tried to say"No I don't need any help go away"but all I managed to say was "umm hum " and still couldn't move. Why couldn't he just leave me here? I would rather be here with a possible broken arm then at home with my parents. They mostly worked all day long and I hardly saw them because they own a store and they have full time jobs. At some point the ambulance came but I don't know exactly when because I fell asleep before they came . When I woke up I was in a hospital room and had a turquoise cast on and it was signed but I couldn't tell by who. Well at least they gave me my favorite color I think and started to look around . There was two chairs a tv and some food on a table. There was also somebody standing at the door looking at me but I couldn't tell who it was . I see some paper and a pencil and start drawing the room. When I'm finally done I hear someone beside me say"Wow that is amazing how did you do it?" and I see the boy beside me. I groan. Why was he still here? I got another piece of paper and continued to draw the room until he finally said"Ok I get it you don't want me to talk to you !" I nod my head trying to get him to realize I don't want him here. "Well I'm going to anyway and I will stay here with you" he smiles. I groan again. I didn't want him here why couldn't he just deal with it? I finally get some courage and said"I don't see why you would want to talk to a loser like me." "Oh so you think your a loser huh? I don't think so I think you looked pretty cool when I saw you I thought those other people I was with were the losers." he said and shrugged his shoulders . Why would I be cool? How could he have thought the cool kids were losers? "Why?" I said with a little but of confusion in my voice. "I don't know I guess I just well did"he said . I was still confused but nodded my head. "You must be new here" I said. "Wow is it that easy to tell" we laugh"My name is Zevin by the way" he said . "Maddie" I said and from then on we talked about different things even though I hate talking to people.i forced myself to though and ended up kind've liking to talk. When they finally let me out he gave me a ride home and said"See you tomorrow" and drive off. I unlocked my door and went to my room and drew. I drew him and a question mark over as if saying he was a suspect like I do with anyone who is lucky enough to have a conversation with me. I was still confused on why anyone would help me though . I just shrugged it off . I ate and then went to bed tired from the days activities . I think I'll stay out of school tommorow because of my arm I thought and fell asleep. <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><> I hope y'all liked it and for the ones who read who should I choose yes I used the name again I can't help it it's a unique namelol
I woke up and it was already past time to be at school so I got up and went to get something to eat. I made a bowl of cereal and sat down and ate. I finish and put my bowl in the sink and sit on the couch and turn the tv on. I end up watching the art show today on tv. I've always wanted to go and see one but I will probally never get to. So the best I can do is watch it on tv and learn how to fix my pictures. I yawn and look at the time 3:10. I sigh. Have I really been watching this all day?? I realize I'm starving and get up to make me something to eat again. I hear a knock on the door. I walk over and wonder who it could be since my parents were working and I had no friends. Probally a neighbor selling something I thought and open the door. There was Zevin . I had completely forgot about him and don't say anything but leave the door open and walk back over to the kitchen to continue getting something to eat. I hear him following me and I just keep on like I don't hear him . He said"So what have you been doing all day ?" "Watching the art show on tv." I mutter quietly trying not to talk to him. "Oh so your interested in that stuff huh?" he said "Yes I've always wanted to see one " I reply excited to be on the topic of art. "Well maybe you can see one someday." he said "Hopefully." I say. "What are you doing ?" he said. "I'm fixing something to eat I'm starving." I murmur. "Well why don't you come with me and we could have a picnic outside at the park" he said smiling. "I guess." I reply and smile back trying to be nice. "Great I will meet you back here in 15 I have to go get something ." he said. "Ok" I said and watched him walk out the door and went to get ready. I put on a t-shirt and some shorts and grabbed a purse and put my phone, drawing paper, several pencils, and a piece of charcoal to draw with and headed downstairs . I waited for a couple minutes wondering why anyone would talk to me let alone have a picnic with me when I hear knocking. I run to open the door and see Zevin standing there with a picnic basket . He said"You ready?" and holds out his arm and smiles. I smile back and nod and take his arm. As we walked out arm in arm I locked the door and left a note saying I was out in case my parents came home. As we were walking I felt a horrible pain in my broken arm. I guess he noticed because he said"What's wrong?" "It's nothing." I insist . "I can tell that something's wrong it's ok. You can trust me" he said. I hesitated but finally say"It's my arm it is hurting really bad." "Hmm well you did take quite a fall I'm surprised you didn't pass out from it but if it helps we are almost there."he said. "Ok" I said and then I saw what he was talking about. It was a beautiful park with lots of plants and flowers and trees. We got under a tree for shade and put down a blanket and got out the food. This was the most time I've ever spent with someone I thought. <><><><><><><><><><><><><> ohhhhh watz going happen and I hope you enjoyed
We ate and I have to admit it was pretty good. We talked a lot and it was mostly about what we like and a little about my drawing skills. I found out he used to play football but he had messed up the championship game by missing a catch and was picked on for it and moved here to get away from it all. I told him about my life and the things I like and that sort of stuff. I also told him what I usually draw and why. "Will you draw something for me?" he said"I want to see how good you are." we laugh and I take out my piece of paper and the pencil and piece of charcoal . I started to draw what I saw in front of me and he didn't interrupt me once. After about an hour and a half I am finished and I show the picture to him. "Wow that is amazing I've never seen anyone that good" he said and smiled. I smiled back and we started to pack up everything getting ready to leave. We talk mostly on the way back and I am still a little worried about talking to him but continued to anyways. Soon we were back at my house . I wish I wasn't . I wish I was still at the park talking and drawing I thought it was kind've fun to talk though. "I guess I will see you tommorow" he said "Ok see you tommorow"I said He smiles"By!" I laugh"By!" I said and turned around and unlocked my doors to find my parents standing there with there hands crossed. "Where have you been we have been worried sick !" my mom said. "I left a note telling you I was going out!" I said. "But it didn't say where !" she said "What does it matters if it says were I was only gone for a couple hours!" I yell back. "It matters because we were worried about you!" she said "For once you worry about me and it has to be the day I get a friend!" I scream back "Since when have you gotten a friend ?" she says calming down. "Since I broke my arm which I bet you didn't even notice!" I yell heartbroken"He saved me and brought me to the hospital and you didn't even know!" I was getting angrier by the minute. "B.............."there was a knocking on the door. "I'll get it" I mumble and open the door. "Maddie,you forgot your picture and pencil." he said holding them out to me. "You can keep the picture if you want." I said and looked at my parents watching in awe . "Thanks" he said and keeps the picture. "Mom , Dad I'm going out I've had enough of this arguing and I'm not telling you were I'm going do deal with it!" I say calmly and walk out the door shutting it behind me. "What was that all about?" Zevin said "We were arguing but I want to get away and go up to the secret mountains want to come they're really cool!" I said "Sure I'd love to!" he said and we headed off towards the secret mountains. <><><><><><><><><><><><><><> secret secrets lol I hope y'all liked it last one for tonight
As we were walking up it got a little cold but I didn't mind . I couldn't stop thinking about my parents though and I couldn't figure out why. All I did was standup for myself so why should I be sorry for what I said? We walked farther and farther getting deeper and deeper until we got to the entrance . "Theres nothing here!" Zevin said . "Of course there is!" I said stubbornly and pulled back a door that was actually rocks. He gaped at it and I smirked and walked in. There was a table a couch a tv a art spot and a place with good and a microwave. "How did you do all of this?!?" he said "That's easy battery powered electronics and plus my style and the help of a helicopter I put this together fit me to hang out in there's even a camping spot." I said and point to the tent and burned out fire pit. "But what if it rains?"he said "Full of questions I see well its all waterproof." I said rolling my eyes. He should of known that how else would they be here still? "So you thought of everything huh?" he said "Yep I spend most of my time here I've even stayed the night a few times."I said "So you camp here and hang out here but all alone and no friends ?" he said questionably . "Yea well that's the way it's always been I don't usually talk to people because well I don't trust them ." I said back just realizing I said out loud my secret . "Hmm don't trust them huh? Well I bet you trust me!" he said and laughed. I laughed "Maybe." I started laughing again. "So how did you find this place it's amazing !"He said "I was walking around exploring and noticed the rocks were in a odd pattern and tried to push then and the door just opened." I say remembering the day I found this place. "So you noticed a weird rock patten?" he laughs "I probally would've bypassed this whole place !" we started laughing. I start walking around pointing out the different things I noticed a showed him around. We were looking for hours it seemed when we finally finished . "Wow you really do come here a lot!" he said and laughed. I said"Yea I love this place I don't know what I would without it!" and smile . He smiles back and points to the sky and said"Look the stars are already coming out." I look up and see that the stars are out and it's getting dark. I start laughing"It is huh? Well I think in going to stay here I don't think I can go back to my place." "Well are you going to be ok here ?" he said "Yea I've stayed here before I'll just get my stuff from home and bring them back up here. Do you need me to show you the way back?" I said "Ok and yea I've never been here before or to this town really!" we laugh and head off As we are walking and we approach my house to get my things I hear my parents yelling at each other "It's your fault she got so mad why did you have to say that !?!?!" "I don't know maybe I wanted to talk with her but it just didn't happen like I wanted it to!" "Well maybe you should have thought about it before you said it!" "I-I " Then they saw me and looked about to open the door. I shake my head and run off with Zevin yelling behind me to stop. I kept running though I ran all the way to the mountains and in the door and I ran in the tent and flopped down on a pillow and started crying. I heard the door open slowly and then shut slowly "Madelin..." he said "No it's o-o-ok it's not there f-f-fault I'm the way I a-a-am!" I say in between sobs. "No it's not you that's the problem!" he said "B-b-but it h-h-has to b-be there's no o-o-other reason!" I said still sobbing. "What about them? What If it's there fault ?"he said "B-b-bu...." I started but was interrupted "No buts now come out its all right ."He said "No I don't want to!" I said "Well I'll just have to come in." he said "No don't please!" I said "To late !" he said and I hear the door of the tent open. "It's ok now get up its not your fault!" he said again and I shook my head because I still thought it was. He picked me up and hugged me. I didn't move though because I was to tired to do anything at the moment. He said"Know will you get up ? I know you still feel like its your fault but it's not! Come on I bet drawing will help you!" I nod my head because drawing does usually make me feel better. I get up an walk over to what I call the art room. I draw and draw until my hand hurts and I had about 53 drawings of the sky. I lay my stuff down and sit on the couch. Since when have I ever sat on the couch after I drew?? I guess since I became an unworthy daughter . <><><><><><><><><><><><><> Hope you liked it
Yay thanks so much I was about to stop the Tory and I will when I have time I might update again tonight don't no yet though
Yay thanks so much I was about to stop the story and I will when I have time and I will update later tonight maybe
You need punctuation, especially when using quotation marks for conversations. Numerous grammar mistakes. If this is another cheesy highschool cliché, then no. NO. NOOOOOOOOOO. I stopped reading when I reached two paragraphs. You should never describe the protagonist in the first paragraph because it makes everything boring as hell, and it tells me that you're not creative and can't fit her description somewhere else. Description is important as well. Don't re-use words like 'turquoise' in the same paragraph unless you have to. Teal can be a good word to use too. I'm going to be damn honest. In my view, this story will turn out to be crappy as hell unless you can take my criticism and actually improve instead of ignoring much needed help. :| That's my criticism to you.
Lol thanks needed that but it won't be a regular story trust me but it needs some time for me to put in the intresting part in the right place but if you read who should i choose you can see how that quickly changed from boring to good lol