Who should I choose???

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by *madelinnicoledavis (01), Oct 16, 2012.

  1. Yeah me too, ff's are so addicting
     
  2. I no right  I couldn't find yalls story sorry but I have another one called magic of the magicians if u want to read it it's pretty good a little confusing and not focused on one thing but good
     
  3. I opened my eyes and imediantly new that I was in a dream . I could tell because it was actually the memory of me meeting Zevin for the very first time an listening to all the laughter. Then the dream ended and I opened my eyes to make sure it was over I decide it was and got up and went to the kitchen . I turned on the tv looking around and wondering where everyone is . Then my mom walks To me and sits by me and says" are you ok"
    I say " yea I'm fine "
    She says" good I was worried about you. Do you no why you passed out??"
    I sigh and tell her about Lucas .
    She says" uugghh I never liked that guy ."
    I say" yea I no he's different than before though "
    Then I say " where's Zevin "
    She says " he went to check on his parents and tell them that you were ok"
    I say " o ok" and then I watch tv.
    A little later I hear the door open and i turn and see Zevin walk in.
    He smiles and says" hey I didn't think you would be up"
    I smile back saying " well I guess I am " and we start laughing.
    Then my mom scoots away from me and pats the couch were she was a minute ago telling him to come sit by me. That makes me wonder what they were talking about as I was sleeping .
    He came and sat by me giving me a hug saying" I'm so glad you are ok"
    I laugh saying " me to" and we start laughing even more. Then my mom says" I'm going to go make breakfast ok "
    " ok " we say together and start laughing again.
    Before my mom goes she leans over and whispers in my ear " you better be nice to this one he's a keeper"
    I say " MOMmm!"
    " just saying " she says and she goes off to cook
    ===================================
    I'm finally out o writers blockYAY no everyone listen up this is really important ...... KEEP READING AND COMITTING PLEASE!!!
     
  4. Its not good.... Its EXELLENT i love it its such an adoring story and love reading it
     
  5. Well it's best I can do to keep the real Zevin out of my head I havnt slep ate or payed attention in class for two days cause my mind was on him he moved and plus he didn't go to my school he goes to the enemy of my schools schoolsso I will most likely never see him again
     
  6. I no I miss him so much but he probally don't miss me
     
  7. He might these are just things u never no untill u ask
     
  8. It's good, just a few improvements:
    •Spell words fully, don't shorten them.
    •Use a line for each person speaking to make it clearer.
    •Add paragraphs/ Make your paragraphs more clear.
    •Use a variety of words maybe.Look in a thesaurus or good book for ideas maybe.
    •Use more punctuation.
    Sorry if it seems like i didn't like it, I did.
     
  9. I'll try but I'm horrible At it
     
  10. It's a good story - update
     
  11. I am watching tv when all of the sudden yells" breakfast is ready". I imediantly get up and I fall back over. Wow I'm weaker than I thought I say to myself. Zevin says " here let me help you" and he reaches out his hand . I take it and as we are walking over to the table I see my mom raise her eyebrow. That's how she usually says I told you so . I just roll my eyes at her and sit down at the table.
    " what are we having" I ask
    My mom says" eggs and bacon " and then hands us our plates. I hurry and eat feeling a little awkward. Then I get up and then I almost fell on the table. Before I did Zevin caught me and says" you have really got to stop doing that" as he holds out his hand. I take it and we are laughing the whole way back to the couch.
    We sit and watch tv and then I realize we where still holding hands. My mom came and sat on the other couch and stares me down. I just looked back at the tv. Then I look again and zevin and my mom are mouthing a conversation. Then my mom shakes her head and they turn there attention back to the tv.
    I stare at Zevin and then mom. I decided that it was nothing and kep watching tv.
    Then Zevin says" come with me there's something I want to show you"
    I looked at my mom and she nodded approvingly.
    I say" ok " and he holds out his hand and I take it.
    As we are heading to the door and say by to my mom. Them we where out and walking towards the middle of town. I wondered If this had to do anything with what they where talking about the other day.
    ================================
    where are they going I no but y'all don't so keep reading to find out !
     
  12. As we where walking I wondered how he new where the middle of town was since he just moved here. I decided it was nothing and looked to where we where going. He was heading towards some vines and plants and things. They looked just like a wall except well made out of plants. Then he stopped and I stopped to.
    I say" why did we stop in front of a wall of plants?"
    He says " it's not just a wall of plants" and he takes the plants and part then revealing a hole in it just big enough for a human to get to.
    He walks in and i hesitate but eventually follow. Once I was in I stared in awe. The place was beautiful ! It had flowers everywhere and there where lots of animals and a river with a waterfall ! The waterfall was a gorgeous blue and all around where animals getting some of the water. The flowers where any colors you could think of . I even saw several that had the actual colors of the rainbow!
    I say" how did you...."
    Before i can finish he says" I will explain some things later but for now we will need to go see the town council to see if they think you are worthy enough to be here."
    " wait town council what do you...."
    I was cut off again as he says " no time to explain just come on before you are kicked out because you don't have permission by someone more powerful than me"
    " wait what do you mean more powerful than you" I say
    " like I said before I will explain later but for now we have only an hour left before you are kicked out and I want to you to stay here so come on!" he says
    I am hopelessly confused and just run with him wondering what in the world he could be talking about when he says i could get kicked out and someone more powerful than him.
    ==============================
     secret garden but there is many more secrets waiting
     
  13. I saw a big building ahead and imediantly i was scared to go in it. Zevin kep urging me forward though telling me time was almost up before I was kicked and then we where there.
    He said " ok I will help you in this case but remember that if they decide you are unworthy you will be locked out and I will be banned to see you ever again"
    " what!!" I almost scream in his face because well I didn't want to leave him.
    He said" listen it's ok all they do is ask you a couple questions and you are free to go as long as you are truthful."
    I say" ok I guess I can do that " and we walk in.
    The room was huge with seats and a big desk all around . The room was in the shape of a circle and right in the middle of it was a seat that had railings around it and a miniature gate to get in and out of. I could tell that it was most likely used for people who where in the trial like me. I could also tell it could spin so that anyone in the room could talk to me and I could talk to them .
    " finally " says a girl in the front " I thought you would be late but seeing that the one and only Zevin is here to see that you can stay am I right" and she glares at him.
    " yes ma'am" he says trying to be polite( most likely to assure I don't get " kicked " as he says).
    I say" Zevin what does she mean the one and only?"
    " oh I see you havent told her yet. That's a shame I was hoping this would be interesting but apperantly it won't. I thought you would be more truthful than that to your little girlfriend over here. There's no wonder they chose you to be leader of the riordan."
    " what are they talking about" I ask Zevin
    " I'll explain later just follow me" he says
    I was so confused I just followed him. He walked over to the chair and says" sit " and I knew I would dread this but I sat.
     
  14. The people asked simple questions like when's your birthday and where so you live and I answered them all truthly.
    Then they say" this is your final question" then they huddle up to decide what it would be.
    Finally they say" would you be the leader with zevin of course of our world. Please don't get me wrong but we know that you are very powerful just like Zevin is so we think you will be a great leader and Zevin would teach you our ways. So please madelin what do you say?"
    I look over at Zevin who seemed to know that this would happen and looked guilty but I didnt know why.
    Then I think I don't know this place. I don't understand there ways. Then I think but Zevin will be left with no one. I would do anything for him.
    I look at the people and I say" I will be the leader along with Zevin because I would do anything for him .
    Then confetti and balloons where everyone . All you could hear was cheers of joy.
    I ran to Zevin and hugged him not knowing what was going to happen know that I was a leader of this strange world.
    Then he says" did you really mean it" with his eyes sparkling.
    I say " of course I did why wouldn't I ?"
    He says " lots of reasons " and he kisses me .
    I was shocked and happy at the same time and all I could do was hug him.
    He takes my hand and says"there is one condition to all of this though. I will be able to help you and show you the ways of our land but there is one thing that is forbidden."
    " what is it" I manage to say over all the exitement.
    He says" you can't visit the mortals or not that often at least . I know you think your mortal but your not your much more than that now."
    I say" what about my mom"
    " we will visit her after lunch . She's been waiting for us"he says
    " wait lunch?? " I say
    He says" of course . I wouldn't let you go hungry."
    He takes my hand and pulls me out of the building and points to the waterfall.
    There I see The animals making a picnic . I think how do they do that and then all at once I think
    What in the world have I gotten myself into.
     
  15. He walks over to the animals and says thank you and then looked at me and say" well come on don't be scared"
    I say back" no I won't be scared when animals make a picnic right in front of my eyes "
    He comes over to me and says " really it's ok you will get used to it after a while" and grabs my hand and says " come on it is ok I promise" and we walk over to it.
    We sit down and i see some food I didn't recognize and ask what they are.
    " they are the food we eat here which is a lot of things. You'll see soon but for now just eat its good"he says.
    I watch him eat some of it and I decide I would eat it and took a bite out of it . To my surprise it was really good .
    After we ate lunch Zevin snaps his fingers and the whole place is clean.
    " why didn't you tell me about all this before" I ask him.
    He says" well because you weren't aware of the powers you had so I wasn't allowed to bring you here until your trial" and then he gets up and holds out his hand.
    I take it as he helps me up.
    I say" so where are we going now?"
    " to your house of course" he says and smiles .
    He says " hold on to my hand and don't let go no matter what ok"
    " ok " I say " but what are you...."
    Then all the sudden he is a bird and he flies off with me holding on to him.
    We fly over the wall of plants and across town to my house. Zevin turned into human form before knocking on the door .
    When my mom answered the door she looked worried but then she saw me and a grin went on her face.
    " did you make it? Is it safe to go back home? What job did they give you? "she says ( and many more).
    I Anwser her questions but when it came to the job I was about to tell her but Zevin says" let me tell thus part it is better if i do it"
    " ok" I say and watch him. " well" he starts off" they assigned her to be the leader of the land.... With
    Me"
    My mom gasps.
    " but she doesn't know her powers yet ! How could they force her into it like that she didn't know about this until earlier "
    Zevin says" they didn't force her they gave her a choice and she said she would do anything for me and then the party started. I guess she knew the danger I was in being a leader on my own"
    My mom stares at me for a while and then says " I will be there tomorrow and I'll bring your stuff to you and before I could say anything we where flying again.
     
  16. Wow that is so interesting! what's going to happen next? what are they.. :O