maybe, we will see tomorrow after all

This will be a one shot unless I get inspired
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I thought for a second, well who could blame me. This was a life changing desscion, one that could change so many lives. The thoughts clouded my brain, what if I was choosing the wrong path and I actually was supposed to go down the other road?

I sighed and picked up the object again only to fling it across my room in an angry fear, a fear of the unknown and an anger of the reality of it all. The thought of not knowing what was lying ahead, and the memory of what had already past.

I walked across the concrete floors, they were a gray, only to fitting a color for the moment I was in. I stared down at the object lying on the floor, teasing me with how easy it would be to pick it up but how if I did the action would be hard and difficult to preform.

I sighed and let my gaze drift to a picture of Dane, his soft brown eyes sparkling and mine hiding a darkness I hadn't known of. His arm wrapping his arms around me and mine hugging him, in what I now saw as a desperate attempt to cling to something safe and strong.

What would Dane say right now? He would tell me I was making a big deal out of nothing, that my life had such great things in it, my loving family, caring friends, and finaly him.

But he didn't know how hard it was, keeping up my grades and keeping those relationships healthy, though the one with my best friend had been ruined when I went after Dane, her crush. How the secret looks she gave me stung leaving small enternal cuts.

I sighed finaly giving in and picking up the glittering knife that I had stolen from my mothers kitchen. I held out a wrist and made a weak cut, not even breaking the skin. I tried again and again soon wearing my skin down to make it bleed just a little. Sighing I moved to the next wrist and started the process over, knowing that I wouldn't die from the tiny cuts I pressed harder slicing through the first wrist the blood now coming out heavily.

I stared and laughed feeling happy, that one cut was my choice, not my parents, or hormones but my own. That beautiful imperfection was all mine, I smiled slicing through the next wrist not even noticing the car pulling up to the house.

I waited and then felt dizzy, sitting on the floor I waited again for a darkness to come and take me. I frowned and took the knife cutting deeper making sure the cuts had broken my veins.

I yawned feeling tired, so I layer down, the cold concrete on my back, I saw black spots cloud my vision and I sighed, realized that death was here at last to take me to the unknown. I closed my eyes and though a veil heard the door opening and screaming erupting through the house. I didn't understand, my parents were out of town. No one was supposed to find me untill death had firmly took its hold on me, my body tingled and I felt weightless. I sighed smiling whispering to myself not knowing that someone was listening.

" I'm ready for death, the unknown is less scary then what has already happened. I'm ready to stop being scared." I felt a wetness on my cheeks, it was the last ing I heard before the darkness I had been waiting for finaly came, sweeping me away to the unknown.

It was something I dreamed about so I hope you don't find it to bad comment, bump, critique to y'all's hearts desire 

 

Lol if I'm inspired I will update

 

I was inspired thank Adele

 

Part 2
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I woke up and all I saw was white, this made me cry in realif. I had been sent to heaven after all, I was in a place where it was peace and no hurry, nothing to make me stressful and no one to make mad at me.

Then a cough made me turn around, I saw an angel. He's blonde hair was a dead give away, he's perfect blue eyes lined with concern. Those eyes made me smile, why should an angel worrie? I was in heaven,I was safe at last.

Then someone else came into my view, his dark hair and eyes reminded me of Dane. As I looked closer I realized that the angels were both wearing jeans and wrinkled t-shirts. I looked around again and to my despair saw that I was in a hospital room, not heaven.

This made me cry harder. Dane stepped forward and pulled me into his arms.

" Angelica, never ever do that again, I thought I had lost you."
I nodded knowing how I would more likely or not fail to keep that promise, I had been cheated heaven. It made me pull farther into the darkness that had started consuming my life. The boy, who I had mistaken for an angel stepped forward clearing his throught.

Dane looked over and frowned as if trying to recall who the boy was.
" Oh this is Gabe. He was the one who stopped the bleeding while I called the cops."

Gabe smiled at me, and not in a shy way. It was all confidence, making me cringe further into Danes arms.

" I'm Danes cousin, he wanted to interduce us, that when we found you." He looked down at my wrists then back at my eyes. That made me mad, how could this angel judge me. I shook my head, he wasn't an angel he was the opposite, he was the reason I had missed meeting a real angel. For that I would forever hate him, for that I would live and make him wish he had never saved me.

 

Omg I totally made that connection Gabe, the angle Gabriel! Wow I didn't even plan that

 

Okay so here's the deal I may not update this regularly but I'm kind of getting into Writting again and so I will write on this when I have something for it, other wise I may not make decant updates so if you still want to follow this I'm happy

 

(Okay and I'm updating lol)