Idk just read lol ~~~~~~~~~,~~~ I stab my shovel into the ground keeps stabbing the shovel in into there's a descent Seize hole and throws a bunch of photo's and letters in it. I put dirt on dirt on it so it looks like it was never touched and I turn around and walk away. No love for me ever. My name is death because my real name is buried in he// . I walk to an dead end ally and lie in the corner looking into the streets thinking of death.
Erm I just want to continue the story ~~~~~~~~~~<<>> Flash back "Get away freak! You lil ass hole get away I hate u!" "-starts singing- I guess this is our last goodbye u won't care so I won't cry you'll be sorry when I'm dead and all this guilt will be on your head! I Guess you'd call it suicide but I'm to full to swallow my pride!" -the girl runs away- Back to present I get up and walk on the lonely streets thinking I'll die with 9 dogs and no children no wife no nothing because I'm just a lil bastered I got nothing to live for all I live for is death.
I had to dig for this and I was looking for something different Update ~~~~<<>> <--staff of writing lol I sit in an ally playing my guitar Becuase that's all I can do forever singing "on this day I see clearly everything has come to life bitter place and a broken dream it's to real for me and everything has come to life on this day." I do that for half the day looking at the pavement and they dirt thinking I'm dirt. At about 12:00 a girl comes to me about 16 15 she has blue eyes beatiful tanned skin and a brownish blondish hair. holds out her hand I just look up at her. She rolls her eyes and picks me up she asks "What's your name?" "Death," I respond. She says, "Your real name nitwit." I sigh and say, "Jake and yours?" "Cierra now let's go to my house," she said. "I never agreed to that," I said "never said you had to" she said. She Literrally drags me to her house wich is nice shade of green a little black at the sides but other then that it's HUGE.
First of all, you shouldn't say that. Second, you shouldn't care what others think, just continue. -sighs- You live by your own expectations, and you can't drive attention back, it's your story.
No not really. Everyone is something different and they love by that, it's not weird. And it's unique. So just continue what you love to do.
Lol I want to no wat happens I am bored out of my mind cause I don't feel like updating my story lol so update !!!
Idk just read lol ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~,~~~~~~~~~~ Holy schnitzel this place is huge like the Empire State Building! But in width not length it's only 4 stories (basement 1st floor second floor attic) but still this girl was one rich girl she even had a boss 302 mustang! (Listed at 42,200 dollars) "what's better ford or Chevy" I said. Cierra said" Ford and whoever says else wise is an idiot." (Agreed?) she wasn't as snobby as the rich girls in movies (well there movies they lie sometimes) "you every has a good memory?" Cierra said. I answered "yea when I was 11 first year of a civil war camp I got so many cuts that year -chuckles- I missed that week a lot." We went to her own living room (basically her private room but not bedroom) "What you wanna be?" Cierra asked. I said "A history teacher, Video game designer, Army personal." "Well.... That's cool......" Cierra responded. I asked "what about you?" "A doctor or a vet." Cierra said. See you next Chapter
Why is there no criticism This story is in desperate need of constructive advice I mean really 'u' instead of 'you'? This isn't a story, I don't even know what it is! A writer WRITES. Not tell. Their job is to detail, not to blatantly state what is happening and expect people to be drawn into something so ridiculously plain and simple. "-sings-" I mean really? Are you serious? Compare that to this: "Her voice rings in the air, melodic and intoxicating." or something along the lines of that. There are so many grammar mistakes that could've been avoided with proper use of punctuation, capitalization, AND PUNCTUATION. Not to mention, run-on sentences. e.g 'lets eat grandma!' and 'let's eat, grandma!' see the difference? Aaaaand Past tense, present tense, future tense. e.g throw is present tense, will throw is future tense, and threw is past tense. If your first language isn't English then I understand, mine isn't either. But please for the sake of literature at least put your skills to use! I know for one that 'u' is just text talk and you KNOW that the proper form is 'you'. This is just criticism, I apologize if I seemed harsh but I just had to say it.