Alright, we all know high school is a bitch. I'm a sophomore and I'm experiencing a lot of stress and problems. Fortunately for story telling's sake, most involve love. Let me introduce myself. I'm Jackson. Tall, skinny, long, light brown hair and blue eyes. Imagine a hipster version of Eric Forman from That 70's Show. As I said, I'm a sophomore in high school. I don't have too many friends. I have Geoffrey, a musical goofball. Reki, an artsy goofball. And Carrie, an artistic and almost poetic girl who wishes that life was all about painting and tea. Now, I haven't always liked Carrie. We didn't talk much until the end of freshman year. Lately, for some reason she had budded into a flower of hope in my terminal and spiraling life. I look forward to seeing her everyday and a day that I don't see her is a bad one. We talked a lot the first week of school but lunch with her, Geoffrey, and Reki soon became a meal of three. Carrie had other friends. Cooler friends. She didn't really need us, especially me. Last week she had a bonfire at her house. She invited me but I had a family dinner. Done of her more popular friends attended. After a while, it started raining so they all went inside. Not long after that, Steven arrived. He knocked at her door in the rain. He came in and they talked for a bit. Soon enough they were outside, kissing in the rain.
Sorry, I missed a key point in that last point. Steven is this guy who is also a sophomore. He has long blonde hair, a clayed back personality and sense of humor. He doesn't smile very much, though. Ts like he's waiting for something. He hangs out with cool guys but, unlike most of them, he actually seems like a decent person. He was invited to the bonfire and told Carrie he might show up. As I told you, he did show up. The way I heard it, they talked for a while and at some point one of them (I'm praying it wasn't Carrie) said that they should go make out in the rain. Carrie is apparently a hopeless romantic (or a whore) who couldn't pass up a movie-esque opportunity by a seemingly nice guy who is also hot. I just can't get over what could have happened had I been there.
I first heard this news the day after the bonfire during lunch with everyone. Some of Carrie's friends came over to where we were sitting and started asking about it. When the full story was finally out, I left. I had to be alone. That was last week. The next day, Carrie texted me. "I don't know what to do. I'm starting to like Sven and I don't think he would want that." In my mind I was telling her that she sucked for kissing him especially if she didn't even like him. And now, I'm stuck giving her advice that's keeping her from me. "Does he make you happy?" I asked. Trying to be supportive, I told her "You should go for it if you are happy." I still hate myself for telling her that. I couldn't tell her how I felt because she was already confused. She couldn't handle anything more. I also couldn't be a dick and tell her that he doesn't really care about her. (I still don't know what he feels)
Fast-forward to 3 days later. I audition for the school play. It's my second time being in a play but the first was in eighth grade and was a shitfest so I don't think that really counts. After everyone had auditioned, the director asked all of the boys girls to separate and to line up. The guys had to do accents and walks and then we say down. The girls were brought on stage and told to "get the attention" of a man in the sound booth. They started, and this is the only way to put this, rubbing themselves on everything. It was the most strange thing I've seen a group of girls do. Last year, I would've stared in aw and basked in the sexuality that was oozing from the stage. The whole thing with Carrie kinda made me think. I didn't see it as attractive or sexy but more as low and demeaning. It was gross. I don't really know why I felt that way. Carrie was changing me.