Heartbreak, mended, Broken.

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Captain-Jack-Sparrow3, Sep 16, 2012.

  1. This first song.. I wrote for my girlfriend.. Well no.. We aren't really dating anymore, and I don't really understand why.. I mean, I was just trying to help.. I mean, it didn't look THAT bad..




    The day I first brushed you
    You looked good, but it wasn't love.
    But now that I shaved you
    I know boys, think your heads a stove
    [​IMG]
    Now your hair is gone, focused
    Like a star, did you blind the rest?
    When will you realize..
    Baby, I freaking waxed my chest!

    Don't wanna Shave my head,
    I want to shave your head.
    I know you're scared it's wrong..
    Like I might make a mistake..
    There is just one life to live,
    And there's no time to wait, to waste.
    So let me give your head a shave,
    Give your head a shave
    Let me give your head a shave,
    Your head a shave..
    Oh, yeah yeah..

    On Sunday, you went home, alone..
    There were tears in your eyes..
    I texted your cell phone, my love..
    The reflection of the sky..
    The picture was yours, if you want it!
    You can take it, just accept the text..

    There's no turning back now..
    Baby, it's on the Internet!

    I want to shave your head,
    I know your scared it's wrong
    Like I might make a mistake
    But there's just one life to live
    And there's no time to wait, to waste
    So let me shave your head
    Let me shave your head..

    Let's me shave your head
    Shave your head
    There's so much you can shave
    Shave your head
    Let me shave your head
    Shave your head
    Oh, yeah yeah.

    When your hair is on the floor..
    And your heart beat is none..
    You called me a piece of shit..
    And then you pointed a gun!

    I just want to shave your head
    I know you're scared its wrong
    Like I might make a mistake
    There's one life to live
    And there's no time to wait, to waste
    So let me just shave your head
    You've never done this before
    I can see it in your eyes
    You try to hide the gaze
    Some things, you just can't disguise
    I just want to shave your head
    Baby, you can lose that weight, the weight..
    So, let me just shave your head..
    Let me Shave your head
    Let me just shave your head
    Shave your head
    There's so much freaking hair
    Let me just shave your head
    Let me shave your head
    Oh, yeah yeah..

    The day I.. First brushed you..
    You looked good.. But it wasn't love.

    [​IMG]



    On a happier note.. I resumed my career as a barber, and trying to pick up girls at work using various tactics, such as:



    My first cut went just like such..
    Swoop, and twist
    Well, my first cut went a little like this..
    And twist and twist

    I said no more razors, and no more clippers,
    I do my cuts under the bleachers, and I do them in my slippers..
    Hair like licorice, hard as Rocky.
    Excuse me, miss, but can I ask you to wash please?

    In the back of the bar, all the way to your car
    I got you writing checks, I got you writing checks..
    In the front of the door, with my fingers in your hair,
    Baby this is it..

    She won't ever get enough, once she feels that minty stuff!
    If I had it my way, she would always want to stay!
    She won't ever get enough, once she feels that minty stuff!
    If I had it my way, you know that I'd make her stay!

    My first cut went just like such..

    I said no more frizzies, and no split ends
    With my style of cut, you'll finally have friends..
    Your hair is like the ocean, it's like clean air,
    And I wake up in the morning with the smell of your hair..

    In the back of the bar, you'll look like a star..
    I got you writing checks, I got freaking stacks on decks!
    In front of the door, I know you want more..
    Baby this is it..

    She won't ever get enough, once she feels that minty stuff!
    If I had it my way, you know that I'd make her stay!

    My first cut went just like such
    And swoop and swoop
    Well, my first cut went just like such
    And swoop and swoop

    She won't ever get enough, once she feels that minty stuff!
    If I had it my way, you know that I'd make her stay!
    She won't ever get enough, once she feels that minty stuff!
    If I had it my way, you know that I'd make her stay!

    She won't ever get enough, once she feels that minty stuff!
    If I had it my way, you know that I'd make her stay!
    She won't ever get enough, once she feels that minty stuff!
    If I had it my way, you know that I'd make her stay!



    Well, this perfect girl broke up with me over time, and I did what I thought was best.. I've been writing these songs from jail for the past few weeks, so I figured I would mail them to you guys, and eventually someone will receive them..







    You thought I was a crazy one
    Broke into your house a ton
    And I shaved your head off, just one time
    You were always the "perfect" one
    The valedictorian..
    So I fixed your ego up, just that one time

    I always got your attention,
    I made you feel like a cow
    Besides all your boyfriends didn't mention
    You aren't so cool, now!

    How do you like it now?
    How do you like it now,
    Now that your head is shaved?
    Do you still think I'm crazy?
    I'm happy for days!
    I couldn't make you want me
    But I always dreamed about..
    Shaving off all your hair..
    HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW?

    When I took off to the Philippines
    I heard that you made fun of me..
    Never imagined I'd take it this far..
    But you married some other man
    But he was just a part of my plan.
    He took your dreams, and tore them apart.

    He makes fun of you,
    Says you look like poo,
    And your kids hear you cry down the hall

    You hear a buzzing
    What's all that fussing?
    It's me baby, all your hair is gone!

    How do you like me now!?
    How do you like me now,
    Now that your hair is shaved!
    Do you still think I'm crazy?
    I'm happy for days!
    I couldn't make you love me..
    But I always dreamed about..
    Shaving off all your hair..
    How do you like me now?

    Tell me, baby..
    This haircut..

    These songs were all parodies of actual songs, if you didn't realize this.. None of these events in this thread have actually happened.. Any coincident to anyone or anything in real life is purely coincidental, and if it has or had happened, your life honestly sucks, and I feel bad for you

    Song list:
    Give your heart a break - Demi Lovato
    My first kiss - 3Oh!3
    How do you like me now - Toby Keith


    I enjoyed writing this, and the only reason I did was for kicks and giggles.. Thanks for letting me share the last 45 minutes of my life with you guys.. Hope you enjoyed.

    ,
    -CJS
     
  2. Lol I understood they were parodies, but didn't know what of. Toby Keith. I hate Toby Keith DX
     
  3. Thank you Logan!!!!! 
     
  4. This was cool  except that one line "Thanks for letting me share the last 45 minutes of my life with you" sounds scary.
     
  5. I told you everything except for blinking, breathing, and the minute and a half pause I took to use the bathroom..
    Along with google searches for lyrics.

    Now you know everything.
     
  6. I never thought any guy would know Give Your Heart A Break song
     
  7. It's on Hits 1 every morning.
    There's only so much I can take..
    Give my head a break..
     












  8. 

    If you shave my head can I wear a wig ?

    
     
  9. I knew the first two... Oh boy, parodies. Fun!
     
  10. Royale, our best of thread, I did the same Toby Keith song.. Haha. It's the only one I ripped from that thread, but I didn't copy it.

    Just re-parodied.
     
  11. This is really funny. 

    Some of the best parodies I've known. 
     
  12. I couldn't read all this man. Lol
     
  13. I'll give your head a shave. 