Sup, bros, welcome to my... SPACE SHIP! Betcha didn't see that one coming! See that over there, that's my captain's chair. You know why?! BECAUSE IM AWESOME! See these buttons?! I have no idea what they do! But look how colorful they are! It's so attractive! See my crew?! Neither can I. I guess they're all dead. Well that sucks, Norman owed me money... HEY!!! You wanna be my new crew!? We're gonna fly arooooound the cosmos like space pidgins in space New York!
NO PIRATES. IF THEY TAUGHT ME ONE THING IN CAPTAIN SCHOOL, IT WAS THAT PIRATES ARE TOO HANDSOME TO BE ALLOWED TO LIVE.