Inspired by almost-dead hobo, I'm doing a list of things you need to understand about me: -If I ask you to make me a sammich, I expect a sammich! Stop whining about the bullet in your leg! -sometimes a lose my pants, so what? Do you NOT lose your pants sometimes? -Yes, my moobs are magnificent, please continue staring, peasant. -I wear yoga pants on my head and my head ONLY. It means I'm hungry. Make me a sammich. Or I'll put another bullet in your leg. Jerk. -If I say I'm on my period, call the doctor, it's happening again. -I can't dance because I'm too white. Get over it. -SCOOPA DOOP BOP BOP. -I am god of shenanigans, bow before your king, naive! -I cernt speel sumtims. Becuz scieence. -I will not make anything for you, because I'm a slacker and probably hate you. I'm just kidding, I love you all!
If you take ANY of my posts meant for entertainment seriously, you're doing it wrong. Very, very wrong.
I'M NOT MAD. IM MODERATELY UPSET WITH THE EXISTENCE OF A CLEARLY OVER USED EMOJI. AND MY CAPS LOCK IS BROKEN.