The Battle Of Hogwarts By Percyous Percyous' POV I sat in the Gryfindor common room as I helped attend to a first year's pain. "Those Carrows are viscious....." I heard someone state behind me. I qquickly turned and commenced to staring down Seamus until he looked down and I could go back to comforting the young girl. "Dont worry, Seamus was kidding, you'll be fine! I promise." I said to her as I flashed as convincing a smile as I could muster to the small, welt and bruise covered shaking girl. She nodded in acknowledgement and was about to leave when I heard the painting creak open, "Look who it is! Didn't I tell you?"
Spelling. And aren't you simply copying what happened in the book but just with yourself jammed in as an extra character?
Ok... I don't really see much point in this when the Harry Potter books were written in the third person POV.
Genius* boredom* yes, I dare. But please spell correctly if you are going to call yourself a genius...
Percyous' POV I heard the rythamic thumps as the stone knights marched down the corridors towards the main hall. I along with a few others had grabbed our brooms and were preparing to fly off as soon as the bridge was blown, which wouldn't happen until the protego maximus spell was bypassed. "Good luck......" I turned to see Cho watching me, her jet black hair falling around her face. "Be carefull cho," I said to her as I nodded in acknowledgment. "I will." She said as she leaned over and kissed me, at that moment I looked up and saw the roof of the dining hall showing the spell being broken. "Cho, He-who-must-not-be-named, no, voldermort, is here. It's time to fight cho. Goodbye." I said to her as the others and I rose into the air, and flew out into the night sky.
Yeah..... I never said they would end up together..... I got a twist coming up...... Wait, why am I explaining to you? And why do you hate my story so much?
If you didn't read it how did you know cho was in it? And look, I had much respect for you and your writing skills before you started typing. I can take, no, I welcome constructive critisizm but I really wish you would stop posting on this thread as if I'm only supposed to write what you want written and I can't write what I want to write every once in a while.
I skimmed it. I must say it does look interesting, but following a storyline does nothing. Make this story your own even if it means using characters that already exist.
Thanks.... I guess...... I might afterwards..... But I have already had most of this planned out so imma finish it.
Percyous' POV I sent a large spout of fire into the crowd of deatheaters as iflew overhead, as I did so I couldn't help wonder if THEY were there. Seeing that no one survived my attack it was safe to assume that my parents weren't among the enemies I had set on fire. Neither was Nicole. I was flying over a giant desolving into ash that I had just hit with a reducto spell when my broom caught fire. I quickly checked my surroundings and saw that I was flying over the bridge at the front of the castle. I turned around and leaned foreward, hoping I'd make it....... And......... I flew through the castle doors, letting go, sliding a few yards on the floor until I slowed to a halt as my broom crashed into the wall and exploded.
This is hilarious I didn't think anyone could fail this bad A first year would not know all those spells and how to fly a broom like that after half a year