Note this is my first story and It's only the prologue. So tell me what you think and I will get the first chapter out ASAP. Thanks! When I was younger me and my closest friends made a pact. If one of us go turned into a vampire then we would turn the other two. We were girls that loved vampires and wanted to live forever. That was back when vampires sparkled and they were considered "Hot". We kept that pact and stayed friends. As time moved on me and Justine's friendship weakened. She became popular and I was always there for here when she needed a friend. Me and Hannah grew closer. We had sleep-overs we bitched about our parents. We told each-other secrets. I loved here. Things changed when we got to LHS. we had to many classes and not enough time for each-other. I would see Hannah in the hall and she would wave and smile. We would try to eat lunch but she went and had lunch with Sabrina. I didn't like here so I stayed. Hannah and I talked less and less. Occasionally I would talk to Justine on Facebook but I never saw here. Rumors started that Justine was getting around with too many guys and that Hannah was a stoner. One day came when I looked back and said what happened to us? No one had kept the same friends as they had had in middle school. High school tore us apart. Justine went down the path of Cheerleading. Hannah went to the path of drugs. And I silently sat in the corner and let people think I was the nerd. while at night I led the life of the girl I really wanted to be. The girl that scared people. But in the end I made choices that effected me and my friends forever. Nothing would be the same.
Use paragraphs, proofread for spelling and grammar mistakes, and use LOTS of detail. Otherwise, not a bad start