In the front yard of a funeral home, "Drive carefully, we'll wait." In a nonsmoking area, "If we see you smoking, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action." On a maternity room door, "Push, Push, Push." On a front door, "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog." At an optometrist's office, "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place." On a taxidermist's window, "We really know our stuff." On a butcher's window, "Let me meat your needs." On a fence, "Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive." At a car dealership, "The best way to get back on your feet -- miss a car payment." Outside a muffler shop, "No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming." On a desk in a reception room, "We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left." In a veterinarian's waiting room, "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!" In a Beauty Shop, "Dye now!" On the side of a garbage truck, "We've got what it takes to take what you've got." (Burglars please copy.) In a restaurant window, "Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up." Inside a bowling alley, "Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop." In a cafeteria, "Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want!