Another story! Yay! I am doing this with my new friend 5hreya and it is planned to a great story so I really hope that you like it. Enjoy! Spain Sera's POV: [color] My life? How many years have you been alive? Take that and divide by 3. Ok? Well now subtract 5. Did you do that? The number you are presented with now is about how many exciting things I have done in my 18 years of life. Ok if you got a negative then obviously you are either very young or can't do math. Stay in school kids! (I can't quite say that since I dropped out and studied by myself but beside the point.) My life is boring and today is no different. The small part of Barcelona I live in is not famous for events, although the odd bonfire is what the mayor thinks is a good way to keep up some of the already broken moral. That is what's going on now. The sky, a blank page painted in a black ink and speckled with shining splatters of white. The centerpiece though for this night was the crackling embers providing a small blaze surrounded by logs "Come on Sera!" my friend Cassandra tugged at my bra strap. "Ok, ok I'm coming, just let go!" She laughs and skips off to the fire then sits down on one of the makeshift benchs. I grudgingly stood and walked towards her. Suddenly I am focused on the blaze, like a hidden string is drawing me forward. My hand reaches out and the fire erupts, shooting higher than a house! I am thrown backwards and fall flat on my back. Hard. The wind is knocked out of me, the flames licking the air as if teasing me to come back. I feel almost connected. I can't explain it. Struggling for breath I begin to rub my fingers together. Sweat beads on my palms but a slight wisp of smoke emits from the friction. I stop stunned. A man walks over from the crown slowly forming around me. A thing like someone being thrown from a bonfire doesn't happen everyday. He holds out his pale hand to me. He doesn't look like he's from around here, tell you the truth I don't really either; I'm tall, have long black hair and slightly tanned skin. But he's blonde and fair not what you would find in Spain. "Here I can give you a hand. I know a doctor just around the corner," he flashes a smile, "I'll take you. If you want." I take his hand and he pulls me up to my feet. "Um, uh thanks, sure." still disoriented I stumble so he puts his arm around me. He takes me away from the party and we walk for a bit. Once we are far enough away that I can barely hear the chatter coming from behind he turns sharply, a determined almost angry look on his face. A cloth looking thing in his hand. I hold up my hands starting to panic. "What, what are you doing?!" He places the cloth, smelling of chloroform, over my mouth and nose. I struggle, grabbing at it and shaking my head but he holds tight. Then… Blackness.
You missed commas in a few places, and should change your wording on some of the parts, but overall it's a great start!I like it!
Lol I'm not as good of a writer as she is but here goes Kai's POV I felt weightless as I glided through the water, waves crashing around me. My muscular arms pushed the water away and my legs kicked in sync with each other. While I swam, I forgot all about my violent stepdad and bad report at school, it was just me and the sea, as one. I love my name, Kai, Hawaiian for the sea. I'm not actually Hawaiian, I'm a proper British lad, I've never left Britain in my life, we were too poor to go on expensive holidays. When I was swimming, I feel as if I can control the water, as if it obeys all of my commands. I'm the water and the water is me. I felt something pitter patter on my curly blonde hair and realised it was raining. I waded out of the sea, my heart aching for the longing of going back in. Oh bloody hell, I forgot my towel!! Suddenly a pale, middle aged man walked towards me. "I see you forgot your towel," he said with a slight American twang, but before I could answer, he pushed the towel into my face and I dropped into his arms, unconscious.
Thx for the criticism angel, I always welcome it and will try to enact on it. Will be updating soon.
._. The second page is a fine spot for a story. It's not terrible… and you shouldn't bump your own story. Leave that job to your readers
Terra's POV It was very quiet up here, quite unusual to the normal bustling about in Mumbai. But up here in the hills there was hardly ever people around. It was just me, the birds, the tree's and the earth. That was why I came up here every day to meditate, to get closer to the earth. I loved the earth, it's solidity, the way I felt powerful when I was near it. I ran my hands over the earth and felt heat rush through my body, my long black hair blew in the wind. I closed my eyes and started to relax. "It's very quiet up here, don't you think?" Startled, I opened my eyes and saw a towel coming towards my face, but before I could scream for help I dropped down into a sea of blackness. The only thing I could remember were ice blue eyes and a cold laugh.